Joke Thread.........
 

Ok ill kick it off

A 5 year old kid asks his dad, "Dad, can I have a new bike?".
Dad replies, "Can your dick touch your asshole?".
The kid says, "Hold on, I'll check", returns a minute later and says, "No, it cant".
Dad replies, "Then there's your answer."
Same kid, 5 years later asks, "Dad can I have a new go cart".
Dad replies, "Can your dick touch your asshole?".
The kid says, "Hold on, I'll check", returns a minute later and says, "No, it cant".
Dad replies, "Then there's your answer."
Same kid, at 16 years old asks, "Dad, can I have a new car?".
Dad replies, "Can your dick touch your asshole?".
The kid says, "Hold on, I'll check", returns a minute later and says, "Yes, it can".
Dad replies, "Good, then go fuck yourself."

A company was looking to hire someone for an important position, so they
interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down three
people. In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all
the same question to answer within 24 hours and the one with the best
answer would get the job. The question was: A man and a woman are in
bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man,
and the man is lying on his side facing the woman's back. What is the
man's name?

After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give
their answers. The first one says "My answer is, there IS no answer."
The second one says "My answer is, that there is no way to determine the
answer with the information we were given."
The third one says "I'm not exactly sure, but I have it narrowed down to
two names. It's either Willie Turner or Willie Nailer."

He got the job!

whats the difference between an epileptic working in an oyster bar and a prostitute with diahrhea.


one has fits when she shucks.

A guy is in love with his Girlfriend.
He decides he's in love with her some much he tatoo's her name on his dick.
Her name is Wendy.

Well when his dick hard you see WENDY just fine, but when it's soft you only see WY.

Wendy dumps the schmuck, and he's do depressed he go's on a trip to Jamaica.

He's having a great ole time at a local bar, and he's about to score but he's got to piss really bad.

While he's standing at there taking a piss, he see's a local standing in the urinal beside him.

He looks down and see's "WY" on his pecker.

He smiles and says to the guy "I see that you have a woman named Wendy too huh?

The Jamaican says "No"
He stretches his schlong out and it says "Welcome To Jamaica Mon, Have a nice Day"

Lots of sick jokes at the SickestSites.com Sick Joke Section

A friend of mine is a Police Officer here in town and he mentioned the
other day that he actually had pulled Janet Jackson over once. I said,
"Are you serious? Was she speeding?"
He said, "Nah, she had a headlight out."