GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - having a bad day? Try THESE on for size!

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section
of
forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased
male w as dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his

back, flippers, and face mask.

A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a
diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The
fire-fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible,
called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water
was
dipped from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and emptied.

You guessed it.

One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next
he
was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.
Apparently he extinguished exactly 5' 10" of the fire.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20, 1998

STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY?
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in
the
kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it
accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handle

bars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the
motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house.

The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her
husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying
next
to him, and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and
summoned the ambulance.

Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the
several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to
her
husband.

After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital,
the
wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.
Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper
towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.
The
man was treated and released to come home.

Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the
damage
done
to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat
down
on
the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he
flipped
it between his legs into the toilet bowl while
seated.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her
husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband
lying
on
the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns
on
the
buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin.

The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same
paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The

paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying
him
to
the street.

While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the

wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the
husband had burned himself.

She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them

slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell
down
the remaining stairs and broke his arm.

Taken from a Florida Newspaper.

STILL HAVING A BAD DAY?
Just remember, it could be worse...

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez
oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers

and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer
whale ate them both.

2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a
carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his
reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her with an
axe
leaving her mentally retarded.

3. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist
towards
the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current
she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking
his
arm
in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listeningto his
Walkman.

4. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the pigs,
all
two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded,
trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

And finally...
5. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a
letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting
it
was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

Your day's not so bad, is it... ?

------------------
Something New... http://www.americas-best.com/adult