Tickle her elmo
 

A blond woman desperately looking for work goes to apply for a job.
The personnel manager goes over her resume and explains that to her that he
had nothing worthy of her.

The woman answers that she really needs work and will take almost anything.
The personnel manager hems and haws and finally says he does have a low
skill job on his tickle me elmo asembly line.
The woman happily accepts. He takes her down to the line and explains her
duties and that she could start at 8:00 am the next day.
The next day at 8:45 there's a knock on the personnel manager's door.The
foreman comes in and starts ranting about the woman he hired. After
screaming for 15 minutes about how badly backed up the assembly line is, the
Personnel Manager asked him to show him the problem. Together they head
down to the line and sure enough, Elmos are backed up from here to Kingdom
come. Right at the end of the line is the woman. She has pulled over a
roll of material and has a bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a
little piece of fabric and takes two marbles and sews them between Elmo's
legs. The personnel Manager starts to kill himself laughing and finally
after twenty minutes of rolling around, he pulls himself together and walks
over to the woman and says " I'm sorry, I guess you misundertsood me
yesterday. What I wanted was for you to give Elmo 2 test tickles."

A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house,
slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags.
I won the damn lottery!!!"

The husband says "Omigod! No kidding?! What should I pack, beach stuff or
mountain stuff?"

The wife yells back, "It doesn't matter...just get the hell out."

OOHHH FUCK! THAT WOULD SUCK! I could totally see my step mom doing that..

Darn it Tanker! Now you gave away how I got rid of two ex hubbies! <snort> lol