Holy shit some of today's kids can be clever
 

...in a hilarious sort of way that is.


READ:


1) A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human because even though it was
a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".





2) Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
of children while they were drawing. She would
occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got t! o one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."





3) A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked,
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of
a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill..."





4) One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white
hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's
hairs are white?"





5) The children had all been photographed, and the
teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a
copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you
are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's
Michael , He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
"And there's the teacher, She's dead. "





6) A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of
the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer,
she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my
feet?" A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."





7) The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of
the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end
of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
God is watching the apples."




Kids are so damn cute sometimes. Almost makes me wish I had one.

Well, almost.

kids are great man.

extremely great :thumbsup

I love kids, I am looking forward to the day i get one of my own.

are those true stories ? :1orglaugh

LMFAO!! I got a four year old hysterically crying because she knicked her ankle and has the tiniest cut. I put a bandaid on it over her protests. She is scared silly of bandaids.

We have two little girls. They love to scream at the top of their lungs. And that's when they are having fun. They hit each other and the youngest, 18 months, bites and scratches to get her point across.

Want a couple kids? I'll part with these ones for cheap :1orglaugh

I'm starting to wonder if the guys above you even read what he posted :1orglaugh

But good stories :thumbsup

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding on a condom.

Johnny's father, in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it, bent over as if to look under the bed.

Little Johnny asked curiously "What ya doin dad?"

His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed."

Little Johnny replied "What ya gonna do, fuck him?"

Kids today are smarter and more witty:)

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Ha ha..... yours sound just like my neighbour's kids. The guy across the back lane from me has like 7 small kids, 3 or 4 of them little screaming girls. I don't understand how they can be in their backyard for 8 hours and scream at the top of their lungs for 7.5 of them.

Unreal.


Yeah, I want kids. Sure I do. Uh huh. :1orglaugh


Oh yeah, and one of his younger tykes has the habit of climbing into their SUV and honking the horn repeatedly. The parents will happily go about their day in the house and let this kid honk his brains out, disrupting the whole neighbourhood.


Do I sound like the hated evil neighbour? That's because I AM. :ticking

:1orglaugh :thumbsup

Kids are hilarious and I believe every one of those stories :)

Probably not but its nice to believe they are.