GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - Looking For Sponsor That Wants My 50 To 120 Signups Per Day!!

The company I was hosting with just went down. I guess they werent paying their upstream provider. (no im not talking about likewhoa lol :-) This leaves me with a problem.

We have a really big opt-in email list and no place to host our mailing banners and html pages.
It will probably take me 10 days to recreate my whole setup and be back to business as usual.
When those fucktards went down, they took my servers and ran , so some of my software is all fucked!
In the meantime I dont want to waste over 1000 signups.
if you want my traffic , here are the conditions:

1) You need to have a solid affiliate tracking software.
2) You must pay per signup .
3) You must have some sites that convert great with mailers (with stats to back that up)
4) Unless I have done biz with you in the past I want references.
As long as I know I get paid and the sites convert I dont care how big or how small your program is.

5) You must have mailer ads that are ready to go. I prefer banners that are the size of a half page ad and that are in one piece (no chopped up images with lots of html). Preferably give me some that nobody else has used before (or make some fast)
6) You must be able to provide me with a virtual webhosting account that has ftp upload, apache, php , mod_rewrite
( I can live without the modules but people giving me what I want are on top of the queue)

7) No hardcore retarded consold fire with active x boxes or autoinstall exploit toolbars.
8) No redirecting the premium foreign countries traffic to dialers (unless I get paid for it)
9) Must be willing to raise their standard per signup payout for me. Im not asking for the world, just a little token of appreciation for the easy joins.
and for the usual broke gfy Crybabies.

Yes its an opt-in permission based email list.
Yes I can back that up with ip stamps and dates
No , its not Double opt-in, its single opt-in, just like most of the mailers lists out there.
No its not spam
No REALLY , it is NOT SPAM!
and NO! I didnt get shut down for spamming

Last but not least , I have stuck with less than a handful of programs over the years. This is your chance to get an in with me.
Screw me today , you will never see another join from me.
Treat me right and you will have an advertiser forever.

To contact me , please icq me at 269831488 for details.
Please dont ask lots of retarded questions. Just tell me you agree with the 9 points above. If you cant agree with the important ones, please dont waste my time.

p.s. if you want cliffnotes for the post , GO FUCKYOURSELF . Ill say what I have to say here instead of explaining it to 50 different peeps over ICQ!