HAHA Things overheard at the STD clinic
 

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Talk Dirty to Me


Things overheard at the STD clinic

by Paul Demko

The quotes below are complaints reported by clients of Room 111, a public health clinic in St. Paul that treats people for sexually transmitted diseases. Nurses at the clinic began creating the list two decades ago; it now includes several hundred comments.



"I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I ejaculate I have flashbacks."

"My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch."

"I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my dick hurt."

"My last period looked like meat."

"My balls feel soft and mushy."

"I be messin' with these nasty women from Minnesota and they don't tell you they got something unless they mad at you."

"How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?"

"I got the dripper."

"I have food chunks in my urine."

"Had sex with my daughter's fiancé and then douched with Lysol--feelin' a little raw down there."

"Scabs on my butt and I'm losing my mind."

"I'm releasing semen when I take a crap."

"I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old homosexual man."

"I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck and when I pop the sores, they smell like vagina juice."

"Can't you put the swab in further?"

"I had sex with my baby's momma, sex with my other baby's momma and my other new baby's momma has disease."

"Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Cream of Wheat before it's cooked."

"My cervix hurts when I jiggle."

"The seam in my circumcision split open."

"I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust either of them."

"My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my armpits."

"From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the adrenaline out of me."

"I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my brain and had sex with me."

"I think my boyfriend knows what's going on. He's been calling me a 'chlamydiahoris.'"

"My pee smells like ham."

what is an STD clinic?

It's where you get your car fixed. :1orglaugh

"I have food chunks in my urine."

Damn that shit must hurt big time

:(

"I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck and when I pop the sores, they smell like vagina juice."

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

"I think my boyfriend knows what's going on. He's been calling me a 'chlamydiahoris.'"

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

haha i got drunk and now my dick is sore

That's fucking nasty!



... but funny! good stuff :)

this is hilarious !!!

"I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my dick hurt." :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

you joking ?:1orglaugh

LOL

"I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust either of them."

I know guys that think just like that. :1orglaugh

haha funny shit :1orglaugh

Most europeans have no idea what STD stand for. They don't deal with that shit over there. Foreignors speak up if I"m wrong. :winkwink:

LOL some good ones ther

My pee smells like ham HAHA damn imnot into tosniffin piss to smell it in the first place