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19 Ways to maintain your insanity!

19 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY :eatmouse

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favours"

7. Finish All Your Sentences With; "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't Use Any Punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend their Party because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rock-Hard.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

outstanding!! mailed it to momz

Quote:

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

The two best ones I'll say.

jDoG

I've done the sexual favors one before :)

Quote:

Originally posted by ClamSmacker
19 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY :eatmouse

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

7. Finish All Your Sentences With; "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

:1orglaugh

Quote:

Originally posted by ClamSmacker
19 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY :eatmouse

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

7. Finish All Your Sentences With; "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend their Party because You're Not In The Mood.

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

:1orglaugh

old one but still a classic, very funny

Quote:

Originally posted by ClamSmacker
19 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY :eatmouse

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favours"

7. Finish All Your Sentences With; "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't Use Any Punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend their Party because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rock-Hard.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

:1orglaugh fucking classic :thumbsup

haha, I love it :1orglaugh

Quote:

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh 1 and 11 are my favorites.

haha nice...i like the zoo one best

Thanks I needed a laugh! :1orglaugh

I cant stop laughing!!! Especially the last one!

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favours"

:1orglaugh

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

People are aware there is more caffeine in regular coffee than espresso right?

still get a chuckle out of it when I read it

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

I will save this one for sure!