Partner Fidlelity :: would you test it
 

Someone i know is going out with a girl a long time now and hes a paranoid fucker .. shes gorgeous and i admit it myself but i know shes crazy about him .. now he wants to marry her but due to previous bad experiences hes paranoid about her fidelity and now has a crazy idea of offering a guy whos a well known womaniser whom is defintely her type money to try and seduce his gf to test her ..

Now my question is would you do something similar - what do you think of this guy and his idea ..

personally i think hes lost it ...lol

Thats fucked up. I can;t see that ending well at all. Best case she doesn't cheat and he feels all better, but what if the fact he ever did that to her came out?

There are better ways to find out how a girl feels.

Should keeps updated as to the results ... now i'm curious:winkwink:

If you get the chance, tell the chick, make sure she doesn't fall for it, then everyone will be happy.

I don't get it, why be crushed if someone cheats on you ? They obviously aren't worth going out with if they're like that, so just get over it.

There's always someone better.... :Graucho

Did you see the marry part of the post? I wouldn't be as lighthearted as you if I wanted to marry someone. She cheats, let's get over it. I couldn't. I'd drop the bitch in a heartbeat.

ill keep yall posted but i think if she cheats BEFORE the marriage proposal then at least he has the comfort that he doesnt have to go through all the expenses of a wedding and divorces and knows shes not the one he wants to spend his life with

if there is any doubt, then they dont need to get married.

if he can't trust her, then there's no reason to be married...

That's what i was thinking too.... why would you want to marry someone you think might cheat on you?

The dude most certainly lost it.

It's wrong, plain and simple. You just have to close your eyes and trust when you are in love. And yes, sometimes you are going to get burned, but isn't it worth the risk?

Maybe he does. What does the test hurt?

Why is it wrong?

Sounds like hes closed his eyes and went in blind one to many times and now hes had enough. I guess I can't blame him.

On the flip side I am not sure how healthy this is to start out a marriage. Perhaps he should seek the advice of a professional.

yep you can bet your ass next time around I am going to be doing some serious digging to keep from screwed again. Not unethical at all. And I would have no problem with someone checking up on me for the same reasons....Do what you are supposed to do and it won't matter who is watching when.

i dont think hes that he cant trust HER hes been burned twice already and has a hard time trusting ANYWHERE

Trust is everything. If he doesn't trust her and wants to "test" her, that just isn't going to work and he needs to move on.

I wouldn't do it, but if it makes him feel better...

Walk away. :)

If he can't trust her, he's not ready for a serious commited relationship. And if she ever found out that he did that, he'd probably lose her anyway.

Perhaps he'd be better off spending his money on some therapy. :2 cents:

the movie "kissing a fool"
relationships are hard enough as is, why make them harder, if he doesnt trust her then thats his problem, even if she passes this initial test that doesnt mean it might not happen down the line:2 cents:

thats a bad situation overall and probably wont have happy results...im curious how that turns out though...

A one time unethical practice in pursuit of a lifetime of happiness?
Well worth it in my opinion, I think he should definitely do it.

Many people have said he shouldn't be getting married - If he has to question her fidelity. Well fact is, regardless of your compatibility, how amazing you get along together, how wonderful your relationship is --- This trust/insecurity issue has no discretion. It doesn't come for the "bad relationships" and go with the "good relationships". It stays with you for life, and or until you seek solace. It (the trust factor) will become apparent with or without suspicious behavior practices by the person in question.

Why? Because love/companionship/ and all that goes out the wind0w when you have fear/insecurity issues. So no matter how perfect the girl/guy is, if a person has low self esteem and or have been hurt before? Fact is, the thought will always be in the back of their mind - In love or not, this character flaw will surface!

Thus - I feel one can meet their soul mate, fall deeply in love, get married, and still have a bit of anxiety when it comes to trust.
:2 cents:

Also. while it is great to look at marriage as all about love and romance and whatever else, it also is entering in a partnership. I doubt anyone out there would enter in a business agreement with someone wherein you agree that if things go sour they get half of absolutely everything withough checking the person out a bit deeper than just taking their word for it.

Trust is a great thing...blind trust is just plain ignorant. Especially when you are giving someone the power to not only crush your heart but instant access to half of everything you have.

i, personally would do that test too

insecure males are a waste of time... hope she falls for the other dude and gets rid of this loser.

After the test, if she passes, will he tell her what he did? Or will he be forever paranoid that she might find out and leave him for his lack of trust in her obviously upstanding morals?

If he goes through with this test, will that be enough? Probably not, his insecurities and fears of being hurt are obviously deep seeded. He should seek counseling to help him deal with the fact that some people are assholes and will hurt you nomatter what you do. and besides that what's to say just because she passes this test that she wouldnt fail it a few years down the road when things get tough? A onetime test doesnt prove faithfulness to your llover. there is no test. You either trust or not and if you get hurt, you grieve and move on to some one better. sorry that's my :2 cents:

I'm getting married soon to my hottie, love partner. We have an open relationship and she likes women as much as me. I have no problem with her bringing home a cutie for both of us to play with :)

That's fucked up. SERIOUSLY fucked up. He gets busted, then she's gone.

Communication, people. Talk to each other. If he's so paranoid, has he told her his paranoia? have they tried to work that out, or is he a nitwit who thinks it's best not to tell her about something that scares him so badly?

she knows about the ex's and what happened and yes hes talked but thats not enough for some people .. its the nagging thought ..

well fuck it i dunno im thinking he should do it either way .. if she leaves him over the test well shes not really in love with him either ..

Is she allowed to "play" with other men too?

Agreed

I was wondering the same thing...

Without trust, they won't last long. :(

Congrats to you and wish you the best of luck!

if I were you I would warn that girl to run away and don't look back..


the type of thing he's thinking of doing is something an abuser does

What movie are you looking for?

If you want to marry someone it is suppose because you are in love with her and you trust her.... that thing to tell another guy to seduce your gf only denotes a BIG INSECURITY!!...

Samuel:321GFY

He's a total loser, thats what I think. :2 cents:

Not always. This test could just be the final step to him trusting her completely. Ive been in his shoes before, and I got burned, bad. I had trust issues in the relationship, but she kept downplaying them. Well we got into a fight one day and she slept with one of her friends.
To this very day I wish I had known she was capable of it from the beginning. My advice to this guy, is DO THE FUCKING TEST.
It could mean the difference between being unhappy for a couple months, or destroying your life.
Let us know the results please.