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I would like to know if there is any softyware that can scan for example a ...SHIT LOAD of pages and make a nice sitemap out of it.

Well that would be really nice,isn't it?but i haven't hear for anything like that yet:(

I use cd2html but you have to run it on your side then upload it.
sample: http://www.cd2html.de/samples/directorylist.htm
highly configurable

I used to use one server side that was site.pl, you might be able to find it on google, I haven't looked for it in quite a while.