Tax time. Here's how to fuck with the IRS
 

Here's how to fuck with the IRS and NOT get in any trouble for it...



Since it will soon be tax day, here are some suggestions for getting
some small satisfaction for the money you pay.....

1. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put
them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on the right side.

2. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the
right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side).

3. Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it
dry before you put in you forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.

4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, send two or
three party check. On top of paying with a third party check, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.

5. Wr<b></b>ite a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has
to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.

6. Wr<b></b>ite your letter on something misshapen and unconventional.
Like on the back of a supermarket sack.

7. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a
single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.

8. If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly
envelope to your half destroyed form.

9. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign
fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.

10. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be
verified and then date stamped.

These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with
the IRS. These methods are ONLY recommended when you OWE money.

If they owe you money, being nice helps.

Why would you want to fuck with the IRS? If doing so increases the chances of an audit even 1% count me out.

aww yes i remember the days of actual paper returns

Dude, you dropped your sense of humor. Want me to help you find it?

whats the point?

Hmm.. how about sending 23,000 checks for $1.00 each? lol

For the record, I'm not using any of those methods. Don't want to tempt fate, audits fucking suck, even when you're not hiding anything. :(

These tips will set the "audit me for life" bit in the IRS database.
I hardly find it humorous.

funny.. CD...

but yeah.. don't want to have to waste my time with an audit... nor do I want to the irs to cost our government anymore money!!!

So, you think this piece is telling you to actually do that shit? Dude, drop the stick out of your ass, it's a light-hearted piece of humor wr<i></i>itten to give the reader a little chuckle of <i>light-hearted humor</i> for fuck sakes.


Holy shit you twits are pissy this morning. Someone stir a turd in your coffee?

CD aren't you canadian ?


And IRS is the last organisation I would fuck with ... not the right ppl to mess arround

Yes, I am canadian.

See my above post.

i also thought you were beeing serious :eek7

It's not funny. Do not fuck with the IRS or Canada Revenue Agency. You don't want an audit.

Please remove this thread.

Thank you.

Holy shit people, it's a joke. Do I need to type that in +700 font size for you?



don't make me.





Interesting to see how shit-scared the IRS has everyone though. Can't even joke about them.

Bump that! Audits aren't anything to joke with!

You're an idiot. Do not make your idiocy any worse.

Making your idiocy worse would be bad for everyone. Not just you.


Please kill yourself now.


Thank you.

The joke isn't about an audit. It's about....


oh forget it.




You people are all short bus kids today.

Now that's hilarious! I needed a good laugh this morning:1orglaugh

Ivy

These are good ideas. Let me share add a few onto the list...

1. Always send it certified mail, return reciept requested. Must suck to sit there and stamp all of those return reciepts.

2. If you print your tax forms from PDFs or use tax software, set your printer to print them out very lightly. This should cause eyestrain...

3. Staple your check to the return so that when they tear it off, the routing numbers at the bottom of your check are messed up. They'll eventually clear your check, but it will slow them down since someone at the Federal Reserve will have to research and enter it by hand.

4. Insert an advertising flyer for your website(s) in the envelope. You paid for the postage, may as well get your money's worth.

5. Put your tax hahahahahahahahas in a 9" x 12" envelope. Then put the envelope in a box 18" x 18" x 18" or as large as you can find and UPS it to them. This is only if you are filing before the due date, since you sure as hell dont wanna pay overnight rates on a box that size, but for ground it is by weight and not by size. Make sure it is signature required so you can prove you sent it...if you really want to be an asshole, fill the box with those peanuts.. the ones that are not anti-static and stick to everything.

6. If you are enclosing 1099s or W-2s, rip them almost in half - but not all the way. Ripped hahahahahahahahas still count and they have to accept them.

7. hahahahaha mean things about the IRS on the outside of the envelope on the back.

8. After you seal your tax return up and apply postage, spill coffe or soda on the enevlope. Allow it to soak in, then wipe it away. This makes all the forms inside cake together and they wont be any wiser, you could just say the post office did it.

Who said I was joking? Every year I have done a combination of things to my tax return before sending it. This year, I pissed on it. After it dried, I took it down to the PO and mailed it. The nice white paper had a parchment yellow look to it...

Well, I thought it was funny.

:1orglaugh

I was being sarcastic you dumbfuck.

You look pissed from the "don't fuck with the IRS" replies. That was hilarious, I needed to join the show.

Dude, you dropped your sense of humor. Want me to help you find it?

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Ivy

5. hahahahaha a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has
to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.


:evil-laug :evil-laug

MmM... coffee turds

yeah CDSmith why are you telling people to do this and get audited?

:1orglaugh

you guys still do tax returns on paper in the US?

This thread should have been entitled "10 easy steps to get audited by the IRS"

Super ideas there. Nice.

Superb. Absolutely superb. :thumbsup

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Taking names on who the humorless idiots are here that just can't seem to "get it".


Anyone else? :Graucho

I love these ideas, I will be implementing them next year for sure!

very humorous ways to fuck with the IRS. On a more serious note though my accountant advised me to always use my own envelope to file instead of their bar coded ones. He said they use the ones with the bar codes to select their audits for the year. :winkwink:

Interesting.


I wonder if those bar codes register correctly if pissed on?

I guess that would depend on the acidity level of the urine that's being used to piss on the bar codes... :1orglaugh

Fuck the I.R.S.
But mostly fuck the government that pisses away money like they have and endless supply...oh, wait, they do. It's YOU.

LOL, wow that got me laughing.

That'd be fun, though I'd never dare doing that with my own taxes. :)

Cheers,
Matt

Those are actually funny ideas.

But keep one thing in mind. The IRS can audit you reagrdless if you owe or not. They may feel that you woe more, and if you pull off some of those you may get tossed into the audit pile.

Also, I guess that my mom was right when she said.

IRS= American terrorist.

heh

Bump. I spent a few minutes of my life making that gif and I want more people to see it. :winkwink:

Thanks, it is exactly what I had in mind when I threatened to post in giant font.


nice work.

:1orglaugh

So was I ya lame shit!!

what font is that? :glugglug

Unless I'm mistaken, I believe it's called "InYourFace"


size=+124 :1orglaugh