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spamiam 04-07-2004 05:09 AM

one flaw in woman
 
THE ONE FLAW IN WOMEN:


By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working
overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on
this one?"


And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be
completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all
replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can
hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a
scraped knee to a broken heart-and she will do everything with only two
hands."


The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And
that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait
until tomorrow to finish."


" But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this
creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when
she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."


The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so
soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her
tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."


"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel. The Lord replied, "Not only
will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate." The
angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.


"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.. I told you that you
were trying to put too much into this one."


"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear
for?" the angel asked. The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing
her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her
loneliness, her grief and her pride."


The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of
everything! Woman is truly amazing."


And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and
they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when
they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they
are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe
in.


They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they
believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can
have.They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.They love
unconditionally.They cry when their children excel and cheer when their
friends get awards.They are happy when they hear about a birth or a
wedding.Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a
family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength
left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.


Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run
or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is
what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have
compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.


HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
PLEASE pass this along to all your women friends and relatives to remind
them just how amazing they are.

TheMob 04-07-2004 05:15 AM

damn i really expected a punch line

brickbat 04-07-2004 05:23 AM

A woman is shopping for a pet as a gift for her husband, but she is concerned that the prices that the Pet Shop are charging are very high. She goes to the clerk and explains her concern. "Well, I have a frog in the back that I can let you have for $50," the clerk says. "$50?" the woman replies. "That seems terribly expensive for a frog."

"Well, this frog is worth it. It's been trained to give blow jobs."

The woman is stunned, but because her husband loves this sort of sex, and because she is not particularly fond of it, she decides the frog might be a good investment. She buys the frog, brings it home, presents it to her husband, and explains its special value. The husband is skeptical, but promises he'll give the frog a try that night. The woman goes to sleep happily knowing she won't be
bothered by her husband that night.

She is suddenly awakened by a clatter coming from the kitchen. She goes downstairs and finds the frog and her husband pulling out pots and pans and poring over cookbooks.

"What are you two doing down here?" she asks. Her husband responds, "If I can teach this frog to cook, you're out of here!"

myjah 04-07-2004 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by brickbat
A woman is shopping for a pet as a gift for her husband, but she is concerned that the prices that the Pet Shop are charging are very high. She goes to the clerk and explains her concern. "Well, I have a frog in the back that I can let you have for $50," the clerk says. "$50?" the woman replies. "That seems terribly expensive for a frog."

"Well, this frog is worth it. It's been trained to give blow jobs."

The woman is stunned, but because her husband loves this sort of sex, and because she is not particularly fond of it, she decides the frog might be a good investment. She buys the frog, brings it home, presents it to her husband, and explains its special value. The husband is skeptical, but promises he'll give the frog a try that night. The woman goes to sleep happily knowing she won't be
bothered by her husband that night.

She is suddenly awakened by a clatter coming from the kitchen. She goes downstairs and finds the frog and her husband pulling out pots and pans and poring over cookbooks.

"What are you two doing down here?" she asks. Her husband responds, "If I can teach this frog to cook, you're out of here!"

haha - the wife is probably just as happy about this! :)

DR_PHIL 04-07-2004 07:24 AM

:zzwhip

PostWhore 04-07-2004 07:28 AM

damn, i expected a joke
this thread sucks


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