GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - Your Worst Online Enemy...Name That Screenname

Like just about all of you, I've had my occasional run ins with people online that just tried to fuck up my day.

You ever visit a message board or chat room or get dumb ass instant messages and email from that ONE person you'ld love to beat senseless with a baseball bat?

Young, old, rich, poor. We've all had that one pain in the ass that followed us around being a nuisance.

Well my story is I had a royal pain in the ass kid who tried to drive me crazy on AOL. He was a menace. Prozac strung-out latch-key asswipe with rich parents who left him alone with thousands of bucks worth of equipment.

Well after about 8 months of this shitheel driving everyone crazy he makes the common mistake of emailing one of his hacker pals but has my email address in his system and so the email comes to me. I got hold of his parents and lo and behold found out his dad's sister went to college with me. That's when 2 and 2 fit together. I used to give his aunt comics and draw her picture. This kid figured it was a family tradition now to nag me. Welllllll, turns out his father had been wanting an excuse to put a belt to his ass for years but his mother was one of those psychiatrist mother types figuring she could talk him into behaving.

So me and his dad worked out a plan and when the family came to the arboretum for a visit his dad and aunt were with him. I shows up and hide near the main lobby soda machines and they sit down at the picnic tables. His dad comes over and tells me to just walk up to the table with the kid sittin' with his back to me. So I did and then his dad and aunt just egged him on to mention me. Kid went into a tantrum and his dad says " You mean that guy standing behind you?"

This kid slowly turns around, takes a look at me ( he saw my pic on our company website ) and literally shit a brick. His older sister was there and fell off the bench screaming in laughter. It was so funny we couldn't be angry with him. He was sooooo busted he had no where to turn. Scared too. We let into him for screwing around online and let him know we wouldn't tolerate it.

Now a few days later his mother emails me saying how she could never get through to this kid but now he's all behaved and shit.

Since then, the kid went to college, works in internet security and law enforcement. He's a good friend now and says if I hadn't stepped in his ass he woulda ended up on drugs and in jail.

Sometimes the web can be very ironic.