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RESUME
George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

Law Enforcement: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY

I joined the Texas Air National Guard. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE

I graduated from Yale University with a low "C" average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE

I ran for U. S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected Governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became the President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over $1 BILLION per WEEK. I spent the U.S. surplus (2000 $236 billion dollar surplus) and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury
(2004 $521 billion dollar deficit). I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for the most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. In my first year in office over
2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by a U.S. president. I am the all time U.S. and world record holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron. I'm real sorry that so many of our hard working American citizens lost their life time savings in Kenny's scam. However, at least my political party and friends got to use Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detains and thereby refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations elections inspectors (2002).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history (9-11).
Less than a year after the World
Trade Center attacks, I made the U.S. the most hated country in the world.
I have set the all-time record
for most people worldwide simultaneously protesting me in public, 15 million!

I cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families-in wartime. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, and then, blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security!

RECORDS AND REFERENCES

All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for
public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and
my bankrupt companies are
sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

Please consider all of the above experience when voting in November. My work isn't done yet, we still need to trim the social security benefits of those retired people and provide more tax cuts for the over the $200,000.00 per year folks.