Has God ever spoken to you in your dreams?
 

I think I might be the messiah.

:helpme :helpme

Yes, he told me to turn left when I get to the white path.

if so i hope you are burned alive like was done to my pagan brethren ;)

and you could be crucified like the last fucking idiot that called him the messiah.

i am all for public crucifixion.

all fucking for it.

I only talk to god when we smoke blunts together every thursday

There is a church out here in NY with a sign that says

"We have found the messiah"

I am gonna take apic next time i pass it

Never. But I've shouted out all kinds of shit while dreaming and woken myself up with it.

Most recently something along the lines of, "get the fuck out you fucking loser!"

On top of that, I'm told that I've said all kinds of things while asleep.

I saw Jesus walk across the freeway on i-5 near sacramento...

Was a homeless guy, he looked at me as he was crossing the 2 northbound lanes... there were alot of cars, no one slowed down, hit brake lights or swerved.. and he causally walked thru traffic without getting hit.. It was fucking odd, and when I turned around to go wtf I didnt see him any more.. And my wife asked me "did you just see that?" Thought it was odd indeed...

only during my nocturnal emissions... "Ohhhhhh GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!"