Having a 4th child, reverse tubal or adoption ?
 

I know this isn't exactly the board for this kind of topic. I'm just throwing this out to see if anyone else has ever came to this crossroad to see if ya have any info to help in our decision.

Me and my wife decided that after our last child, 3 children was enough for us and it'd be best for my wife to get her tubes tied, since we had our 2 boys and 1 girl, so she did.

Well, now that baby is now 2 years old (girl) that has two brothers (6 and 11) and we're both only turning 30 this year. My brother just had a baby a short while back and it's getting us to thinking.

My wife has strong ties with her sisters and was feeling bad that our youngest will never get to feel those ties since she won't have a sister, so now we're debating on having another child, but we can't.

On one hand there's reverse tubal which would cost a few thousand, but it'd be worth it. However, there's no promise that we'd have a girl, if we had another boy, that'd be great, but we'd be shooting for a girl. One other thing that worries us is that all 3 of our children turned out fine without any problems, we wonder if a 4th could be the one that something would go wrong.

Then there's adoption. We could find a needy baby girl that needs a loving home which would be perfect, but then there's the worries of "Will it be strange raising a child that's not from us", she wouldn't have mom's eyes or dad's ears. I wonder if that'd take away from it. I suppose that the love would be there, that'd be the main thing rite ?

What are your ideas ??

No offense, but STOP OVERPOPULATING MY PLANET!

I think adoption would be the way to go, IMO.


I don't want kids, I have none and love to come and go as I please.


:thumbsup

I would adopt. I am positive after you take care of the baby for a few days / weeks you'll love it all the same.

You would thnk three's a crowd, why go a for a fourth. The more kids you add to the mix, the less time you will have to spend with each of them :2 cents:

I think Adoption is the way to go too. There are so many wonderful kids that need a home.

Thanks for all of your comments everyone. It seems like a most of you are supporting adoption.

Ironhorse, my current kids all get their share of attention especially since I work from home and my wife is a homemaker, so that wouldn't be the case here. I know a few people that do have too many kids and understand your point how some can't give enough attention.

TurboAngel, that is true about coming and going as you please, however, you have to look towards the future when you get older, when you have kids, you'll have them forever, plus grandkids and in-laws. It'll be nice not to grow up alone.

Ya i would stop stopped at 2 or 3 but if a 4th is on the way i would keep it. No Aboption. If you can manage 3 you can do 4.:2 cents:

3 is fine - your daughter can become close to her brothers if you promote that relationship - plus if she has cousins - girl cousins can be almost as close as sisters.

If you would adopt - you might be taking a baby from a couple that don't have/can't have any children.

You're just having baby fever - honestly - it goes away. It's like a virus caught from holding new babies and smelling that baby lotion smell.

I know you're happy that you've been so blessed with the children you have- and you really have :)
It's fantastic that your wife is a full time mom - the best thing in the world to do.

There are plenty of children in this world that need a new home. I say give one of those children the life they deserve! Good luck on whatever you decide! :thumbsup

Adoption is a good thing. I was adopted and I'm very thankful that I was raised by good people who I've always considered 100% my parents.

I think its rong to adopt since I know people who want one child and can't get it. You already have 3, seems a little selfish to me?

i absolutely disagree. There is nothing selfish about adoption as there are SO many children without parents or homes. Adoption is a wonderful idea where everyone benefits. It can be a long process which is something to keep in mind.
It is sometimes easier to adopt children instead of babies as sadly there is not such high demand for them once they aren't so cute anymore.

I think its great you find the time for such a large family. I guess I would weigh the risks and success of the reverse. It would be sad if you reversed it and it still didnt work.. Good luck.

I'm still freaking out about my first child... and he/she hasn't even been made yet.

Adopt... if your thinking about your youngest having the same bond with another sibling then why not adopt a kid who would benifit the same way who's living a life with no family..

It would work out great for the adopted kid and yours assuming they get along ;)

What happens if you go for 4 and you have another boy?

I would go the adoption route. There are dozens of children who can't get adopted. You could make a difference in someone's young life.

My wife is currently pregagnt with our 4th (we're both getting fixed after this one ;-)) Two sons and a daughter. We'd like another daughter to "even it up" but won't go insane if it's another boy.

Also, make sure you really want this 4th instead of just going through baby fever as you know how tough it can be to handle 3.

Just grab one at the mall. Keep it for a few years until you get sick of it then let it go.

it's great that you love your children so much. . . half the people in my family (not immediate) was adopted. My aunt has two adopted, then she gave birth. They will all tell you that an adopted child, is not any more or less your own child.

Good luck with your decision!:thumbsup