Are you a good Democrat?
 

25 Rules for being a good Democrat....by Al Oppenlander

1. You have to believe that someone who becomes addicted to drugs they were taking for pain is no different than someone who became addicted by taking drugs for the pleasure of feeling "high".

2. You have to believe that only Republicans are born into privilege and that good Democrats like Teddy Kennedy and John Kerry worked hard to achieve their financial status. Also that celebrities such as Barbara Streisand, Ted Danson, Brad
Pitt, Whoopie Goldberg etc., etc. really give a shit about the poor people of the world.

3. You have to believe that the U.S. should continue to fight the world's battles but only when the UN decides that it should and that attacks against the US are OK because we are "rich" and the rest of the world is "poor" and therefore, it is
understandable that others are "resentful".

4. You have to believe that the government should cater to minority opinions and standards, ignoring the majority of people who's beliefs are different.

5. You have to believe that the government should protect the environment at all costs and still manage to provide power/energy for heat, light and work as if by
magic (and god forbid that anyone should make money while working this miracle!).

6. You have to believe that just because the majority of Americans are of the Christian faith doesn't mean that they can practice their religion even if there is a Muslim, Buddhist or someone of another religious faith around at the time and yet
they should be "respectful" of those people's religious customs and practices.

7. You have to believe that unfounded rumors of non attendance of volunteer military guard duty is a mortal sin while cavorting and demonstrating with Hanoi Jane and causing American prisoners additional mistreatment by the enemy is "OK" because
they were only expressing their moral convictions (and I use the term "moral" lightly).

8. You have to believe that all Republicans want to ban abortions completely and that there are no Democrats who own or work for large multinational corporations.

9. You have to believe that the Bible is a pack of lies and you have to be paranoid enough to believe that all Republicans hate homosexuals, that they are immune to the Aids virus and that Hillary Clinton is not a greedy, power hungry, self serving bitch.

10. You have to believe that the ACLU is valid.

11. You have to believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to cut their budget for advanced weapons, pay raises and benefits for active personnel and force them to tolerate homosexual behavior in their ranks.

12. You have to believe that running for governor of California requires that a person never participate in "abnormal" sexual activities or drug use but that running for president of the United States should have no such restrictions (especially if you
limit your sexual activities to oral sex and you don't inhale when you smoke marijuana).

13. You have to believe that providing condoms to teenagers is fine but trying to teach them Christian morality and abstinence is grounds for calling in the ACLU.

14. You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to "turn the other cheek" unless the country being terrorized is France.

15. You have to believe that government medicine is workable without paying the doctors and/or hospitals for their services.

16. You have to believe that temporarily providing health care to people who have been injured during an armed conflict has any relevance to NOT providing socialized health care to Americans.

17. You have to believe that all tobacco farmers are NOT Democrats and that just because a lot of Republicans are also Christians, none of them believe in evolution (I
haven't heard any of them advocating teaching Creationism).

18. You have to believe that a Democratic Administration's decision to go to war in Vietnam for dubious reasons was RIGHT but going to war in retaliation for the unprovoked killing of American citizens (and people of other nationalities) and/or
the threats of additional attacks is WRONG. (Not to
mention the moral obligation to stop a murderous dictator from killing more innocent people in his own country.)

19. You have to be willing to make all kinds of rationalizations for discounting the capture of said murderous dictator after spewing all kinds of rhetoric about the President's "failure" to capture him.

20. You have to believe that the Constitution is a "living" document when it comes to matters concerning liberal agendas yet argue that freedom of speech is an inviolable constitutional right even if that speech is immoral and outrageous to the majority of Americans.

21. You have to believe that the public revelation of the adulterous affairs of Democrats was due to a vast "right wing conspiracy" and should never have been disclosed while saying in the same breath that what a person does behind closed doors
is their own business. You also need to ignore the questions regarding "If there is nothing wrong with their activities, why do you care if they are revealed to the public?".

22. You have to believe that "insider trading" is OK to hide from public disclosure if the government can hide issues regarding national security.

23. You must believe that Constitutional rights should be subject to override by local governments if the local governments decide they don't like to play by those rules.

24. You have to believe that what former President Clinton was proven to have done in the 1960's holds no more importance than the rumors being spread by President Bush's political opponents.

25. You have to believe that continuing trade practices with China and Vietnam which were established by a Democratic Administration is wrong, while continuing trade restrictions established by a Democratic Administration is also wrong, all while
insisting that what the Democratic Administrations did were right!

Bonus points for believing that it is okay for a Democratic president to lie under oath but wrong for a Republican president to refuse to reveal details of private discussions not under judicial review.

Double bonus points if you can look directly into the faces of millions of American citizens (via a television camera) and lie to them with a straight face then later admit that you lied with no outward sign of feeling that you did anything wrong.

Triple bonus points if you actually believe that all rich Republicans, got that way at the expense of the working class but all rich Democrats, got that way through hard work.

Quadruple bonus points if you really believe that Unions exist solely for the benefit of the common workers and are not in reality, another "big business" contributing to the wealth of the union officers at the expense of those workers. While definitely
providing some benefits to workers, they provide even more benefits to those in charge (although there are a few, how many officers go unpaid during a strike situation?).

well then the answer is no

well you are truthful

:1orglaugh Thank you I needed a good laugh this morning. :thumbsup :thumbsup

I'm waiting for the "those are all conservative conspiracy lies and spin" post.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Are you a good Republican?

Only 3

Be completely oblivious to how incompetent and retarded George Bush really is while ignoring his ever growing list of fuckups.

Call anyone that speaks badly of Republicans "conspiracy theorists".

Know 12Clicks

12Clicks :thumbsup good man

oh look, the party line. """incompetent and retarded George Bush"""

but then must have their opinion treated as fact.:1orglaugh

As usual, resort to name calling!!!

cuncur:thumbsup

I'm wondering where all the good Democrat are. know this board is full of' em

Oh one truthful one spoke up

Hopefully some of them are reading your post over and over while doing a self analysis and thinking, ?Wow, I am this hypercritical.? :1orglaugh

Ok, well, not ALL republicans fit into one mold, you know?

you know I think you might be correct, you are one smart cookie. :Graucho

Hilarious!!! Good post!:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

I love all the Clinton ones.

No one probably remembers this, but Clinton was (and remains) one of the most Republican leaning Democrats ever...

In fact it was Clinton who started the Dems whole "move to the center" thing which ended up losing them the congress, and the presidency.

So being a good Democrat based on the true Democratic values? Or the values placed forth by the DLC?

But even though Clinton was closer to a Republican then any other elected Democrat, it didn't stop Republicans from raising a stink over his admitted draft dodging, and his lie about sex, and anything else that the Republicans could get their hands on. But if the Democrats try to hold Bush up to the same scrutiny, its dirty politics, why the double standard fellas?

That said, according to the list, I am not a "good democrat", but anyone that fit that list would be a bad democrat because that list assumes that if you have a (D) next to your name then you have your head in the sand, and/or you are a fucking hippie.

You have to believe actors actually care? You have to think that no dems own corporations? If someone attacks us it's because we are rich and its ok? C'mon, most of this shit is really reaching for those small handful of extremists (Hippies) who no one listens to anyways, and they switched to the Green party long ago.

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today.
1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

4. "Standing Tall" for America means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but >multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind >without regulation.

6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashhahahahaha can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.

20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of Hillary Clinton.

What's wrong with this?? :)

I'm the best

Those are all hogwash. The list represents the wilfully blind idealist who will vote Democrat regardless of actual platform, policy, or candidate. That's not an educated voter, that's an ignorant voter. So no, those don't really apply to many people I know.

:2 cents:

Thank you :Graucho

Just common sense. :winkwink:

nothing that I can see, others I don't know about:Graucho

Oh my god I have to re-compute my thought's of what a Democrat is. It came off the internet, I was sure it was 100% right on. Well maybe I read it and wanted 2 believe it because it was written by a Republican but a Democrat friend sent to me.

Confused:eyecrazy

wow, who woulda thunk it, a threadful of reactionaries. The only ones missing are pathfinder and rooster
:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Democrat, Communist, Liberal, Republican... who cares?

The priority is competent government which is accountable, transparent and serves the people who had enough trust to put them in power.

Sadly at this time that does not exist in the US - it must be at the bottom of the scale in "values" of any Westen country right now, but ironically, some seem to proclaim the US as the "best country in the world". Duh?? Must be the media spreading that message :-)

The country may have plenty going for it, but tis no more than a "rogue regime" ready for a change.