Joke Thread
 

If you have a joke, post it here.


"What's better than winning the special olympics? ~ Not being in it." -lol

I have a joke site with over 10,000 jokes on it. From which category would you like to hear?

Anything. Just post some jokes.

He just did.

To give you some hope:

ORIGINAL LIST (AGE 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thougthful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover


REVISED LIST (AGE 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, hold chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week


REVISED LIST (AGE 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends


REVISED LIST (AGE 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends


REVISED LIST (AGE 62):
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend


REVISED LIST (AGE 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

Actually, it wasn't a joke. :)

It is amazing what a content stripper script can do for you in the matter of one day. And no, I am not giving you fuckers the url.