Ladies.. are you a lady?
 

A lady never sets the hostess on fire.

A lady never posts naked pictures of herself in her livejournal, nor does she whine if someone else posts naked pictures of her in their journal. She was stupid enough to let someone untrustworthy have naked pictures of her.

A lady should buy low, sell high.

A lady makes sure to only visit classy porn sites.

A lady never writes prophetic messages on the wall in her own feces.

A lady should never call another lady a
"hahahahabubble" or a "slimecrotch" unless they have a relationship wherein the sharing of undergarments has taken place.

If a lady has the superpower of radioactive eye lasers, she should never use them to melt puny humans in front of her in the grocery checkout line.

A lady should remember that she should never eat a portion of refried beans larger or more weighty than her head.

A prepared lady always has a broadsword in her closet, just in case of attack by barbarians.

A lady knows that if she wears slutty clothing, she has no right to complain when people stare at her boobs.

A lady never laughs at jokes which are at the expense of others, except for jokes about Jews, because everyone knows all ladies are Protestant.

A lady puts her left foot in, puts her left foot out, puts her left foot in and shakes it all about.

If a lady feels that a man has a member of inadequate size, she does not tell him directly. Instead, she signs him up for as much "ENLARGE YOUR PENIS" spam as possible.

A lady knows how to protect her delicate skin while breaking car windows.

A lady knows that the best way to make an impression at the office is to become possessed by the spirit of the Lord and flail about speaking in tongues.

Ladies, are you a lady? :P

Trying to be more ladylike, are we? :P

Well that's nice:thumbsup

Well THANK GOD, I am not a lady.......... I have been trying to convince my husband of this for many many years, NOW I have proof....... THANK you, LM. :thumbsup

I might set the hostess on fire, but I've sure given it serious thought sometimes..... LMAO

Yes I am. Are you?

very much so. i've been putting my left foot in and shaking it all about for years now!:winkwink:

I am a laday :thumbsup

according to your defination yes :)