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Today's topic: The halftime show

Heard the one about ... Have you seen this lineup? I'm not sure how good the show will be, but it's a Who's Who of tabloid gossip and wild, unsubstantiated Internet rumors. To catch you up:

? P. Diddy (real name: Sean Combs). Diddy (or should we say P.?) is in court now, defending charges that he forced a former chauffeur to speed away from a 1999 nightclub shooting. And in case you were wondering, he is NOT back with J-Lo, despite the recent Bennifer implosion. "There's no reunitin', " Diddy told People magazine.

? Kid Rock (real name: Robert James Ritchie). Oh, where to start? Kid is involved in an on-again, off-again, does-anybody-even-care-anymore relationship with Pamela Anderson, former Baywatch lifeguard and co-star of the Tommy Lee tape. Before that, the "Pimp of the Nation" had been linked with almost everyone you've ever heard of, including singers (Sheryl Crow), models (James King) and porn stars (Jenna Jameson).

? Nelly (real name: Cornell Haynes Jr.). About the best you can dig up on this guy is a little spat with some TWA flight attendants. No crazy romances, no talk-show freakouts, no late-night arrests. Guess what, Nelly? Bor-ring.

? Janet Jackson (real name: uh, Janet Jackson). Nelly could learn a thing or two from Janet about keeping yourself in the headlines. (Of course, she had the benefit of learning from the master, older brother Michael). Janet, 37, hasn't done much musically lately, but she is dating a guy who's 15 years younger, and that's just good gossip. Her current boyfriend is Justin Timberlake, who was in one of those boy bands (Menudo? Hanson? Whatever.).

Speaking of tabloid stars: This is the second time MTV has produced the halftime show. In 2001, Aerosmith and 'N Sync performed, with special appearances by Mary J. Blige, Nelly (it's not really a Super Bowl anymore if Nelly's not there) and Britney Spears. Don't count on Britney making it this year ? she's leaving the day open in case she decides to get married.

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