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StacyCat 01-14-2004 11:20 AM

The Ultimate Fat Joke Thread
 
OKay, you think you are so funny, huh? This is the ultimate fat joke thread! If you can make Me, Sarah, AND Tofu laugh, then you have it made.

Make it original. Make it funny. Heck, tell the same old ones over and over again, see how smart it makes you feel :-)

We need some sort of prize on this. :-)

Sarah_Jayne 01-14-2004 11:22 AM

prize? I will actually try to promote the BBW program you no doubt have in your sig :)

No, really..I am willing to laugh if it is funny and something I haven't heard already.

StacyCat 01-14-2004 11:24 AM

I laugh at good jokes. :-)

going to lunch, i wanna laugh when I get back!

Shok 01-14-2004 11:24 AM

The pope, a nun, a monkey and a mexican all go into a bar........wait, wrong thread

Gabriel 01-14-2004 11:25 AM

Shok make it a fat mexican, that should work.

Rankings 01-14-2004 11:26 AM

This guy was really fat, and the doc told him, that if he
keeps this up, he'll end up dead.
So he decided to sign up for a gym. He went to the most
sophisticaed, ultra-huge gym, a building 25 stories tall.
He walks to the reception, and says - I want to have the
fastest workout this gym can offer me, for $200.00.
So the guy says "hey - no problem, 10th floor, room 1017"
The dude pays, and takes the elevator.
He enters the huge room, and sees this beautiful, naked
woman, standing in the far corner. The woman says: "If you
catch me, I'm yours !"
And the guy had a great workout trying to catch her, but
didn't get lucky...
So after a week, he comes back to the gym, and thinks
"if I got that for $200.00, I wonder what I'll get for $500.00..."
So he says to the receptionist: "Give me your $500.00
fast-workout deal"
-"Sure, 25th floor, room 2599"
Takes the elevator, enters the room.
Inside this huge hall, on the far corner, stands a huge,
drooling, full of sweat and smelly man, who says: "If I catch
you, you're mine !"

Shok 01-14-2004 11:26 AM

Actually its the monkey thats fat i think

beergood 01-14-2004 11:27 AM

http://www.bonairenature.com/images/donkey.jpg

michel 01-14-2004 11:30 AM

The other day I fucked a real fat woman...
How fat?
After I finished I rolled over twice and still was on top of her...

Ash@phpFX 01-14-2004 11:31 AM

doesnt look very ultimate to me :helpme

Shok 01-14-2004 11:32 AM

My mom is so fat, I told her to haul ass and it took 2 trips.

Sarah_Jayne 01-14-2004 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gabriel
Shok make it a fat mexican, that should work.
make it a fat bi mexican woman and then send her my way...please

michel 01-14-2004 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by asher
doesnt look very ultimate to me :helpme
Why don't you give it a shot?

beergood 01-14-2004 11:36 AM

http://www.antimater.com/funny/fatass.gif

beergood 01-14-2004 11:38 AM

http://people.cornell.edu/pages/lrw4/fatass.jpg

Scott McD 01-14-2004 11:40 AM

My diet's working. I stepped on my talking bathroom scales last night and for the first time ever they didn't scream that I was too fat. They did mention in passing that my feet smelled.

Sarah_Jayne 01-14-2004 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by beergood
http://www.antimater.com/funny/fatass.gif

I am guessing you don't have a front pic of that because I think I might know the gal sitting down..but hard to tell. Seriously.

Scott McD 01-14-2004 11:41 AM

Yo Momma Is So Fat...
When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
When she dances she makes the band skip.
When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Her ass has its own congressman.
Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.
Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
Her driver's license says "Picture continued on the other side."
The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
Yo mama's so fat, "Place your ad here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
All the restaurants in town have signs that say: Maximum Occupancy: 240 patrons or yo momma.
When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
When she gets in the elevator, it HAS to go down.
She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
When I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.
She could sell shade.
When she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
People jog around her for exercise.
I ran around her twice and got lost.
She gets runs in her jeans.
Her blood type is Ragu.
When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu - she gets an estimate.
If she got her shoes shined she would have to take his word for it!
She has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
She can't even jump to a conclusion.
She went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
She dressed in a yellow jacket and kids tried to board her after school.
When she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house!
She broke her leg and gravy poured out.
She wakes up on BOTH sides of the bed.
Yo'momma like a refrigerator: Everyone puts their meat in!

GonePhishing 01-14-2004 11:41 AM

This isn't really a joke, but I was going to pitch a reality show to NBC. It was going to be about making a rich gay guy think he would get to pick the man of his dreams in a contest. Then he finds out is that his pool is fat disgusting straight men you want don't have a problem marrying him for loot. I want to call the show Fat Thigh For The Queer Guy. Also, was going to have the same scenario but on an island. I'll call that one Welcome To Thighland

Tofu 01-14-2004 11:42 AM

My girl is so fat, I gotta hold an ironing board across her chest to keep from falling in her pussy! :1orglaugh

Rankings 01-14-2004 11:45 AM

Your mommas so fat the only thing from keeping her from going in Jenny Craig was the door.

Tofu 01-14-2004 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Scott McD
When I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.

:1orglaugh

Rankings 01-14-2004 11:46 AM

Yo Mamma is so fat.. When she see's a school bus she says stop that twinkie.



yo moma so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles poped out

Sarah_Jayne 01-14-2004 11:48 AM

the Kool-Aid one is cute but I am docking points because that proved to me to be a cut and paste job because unless you spend a lot of time in the States I know they don't have Kool-Aid in the UK :)

Rankings 01-14-2004 11:48 AM

Your so fat thet when u step on the scales it says 2 be continued


Your so fat the last time you saw 90210 was on a scale!

Your momma is so FAT Bill Gates couldn't even afford her liposuction!

GotGauge 01-14-2004 11:54 AM

What is Wrong with a Big Girl?

They can Keep you Warm in the Winter,

And give you Shade in the Summer...

Aron

Sarah_Jayne 01-14-2004 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GotGauge
What is Wrong with a Big Girl?

They can Keep you Warm in the Winter,

And give you Shade in the Summer...

Aron

see, now said by the right person that would actually make me go 'awww'

StacyCat 01-14-2004 01:19 PM

So far the cartman one is the only one that made me laugh. lol

So, these guys can dish it out in our threads, but are truely afraid of making us laugh? Pussies!

beergood 01-14-2004 01:22 PM

The thread talking about all the hog hunter blow jobs is pretty fucking entertaining.

beergood 01-14-2004 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sarah_webinc



I am guessing you don't have a front pic of that because I think I might know the gal sitting down..but hard to tell. Seriously.

Thats my girlfriend. You'll have to sign up for her paysite at


http://www.hoghunter.com

hope the milf hunter doesn't sue us.

StacyCat 01-14-2004 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by beergood


Thats my girlfriend. You'll have to sign up for her paysite at


http://www.hoghunter.com

hope the milf hunter doesn't sue us.

Does she do hardcore? There isnt enough SSBBW hardcore out there, you could make a killing!

stocktrader23 01-14-2004 01:27 PM

Yo momma's so fat when she dropped her keys they went into orbit around her ass.


Ah, middle school jokes.

beergood 01-14-2004 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by StacyCat


Does she do hardcore? There isnt enough SSBBW hardcore out there, you could make a killing!



hell she'll do anything. She'd even do a ******* pic if trying wouldn't break her back and then cause her to sufficate when her ass landed on her head!


they call her the sybian slayer because she can completely destroy one in less than 60 seconds.

Smiley 01-14-2004 01:35 PM

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

"No, from skipping."

Smiley 01-14-2004 01:42 PM

A Fat Joke

This guy was really fat, and the doc told him, that if he
keeps this up, he'll end up dead.
So he decided to sign up for a gym. He went to the most
sophisticaed, ultra-huge gym, a building 25 stories tall.
He walks to the reception, and says - I want to have the
fastest workout this gym can offer me, for $200.00.
So the guy says "hey - no problem, 10th floor, room 1017"
The dude pays, and takes the elevator.
He enters the huge room, and sees this beautiful, naked
woman, standing in the far corner. The woman says: "If you
catch me, I'm yours !"
And the guy had a great workout trying to catch her, but
didn't get lucky...
So after a week, he comes back to the gym, and thinks
"if I got that for $200.00, I wonder what I'll get for $500.00..."
So he says to the receptionist: "Give me your $500.00
fast-workout deal"
-"Sure, 25th floor, room 2599"
Takes the elevator, enters the room.
Inside this huge hall, on the far corner, stands a huge,
drooling, full of sweat and smelly man, who says: "If I catch
you, you're mine !"

StacyCat 01-14-2004 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jarass

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

"No, from skipping."

This one is kinda funny :-)

NoCarrier 01-14-2004 01:53 PM

http://stacycat.com/school.jpg

FAAAAAAAAAAAAART!!!

THE STACY CAT FART SOUND

http://porn-sex-list.com/sick.jpg

Smiley 01-14-2004 02:04 PM

Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."




Judy has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes.

Adultnet 01-14-2004 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by input
This guy was really fat, and the doc told him, that if he
keeps this up, he'll end up dead.
So he decided to sign up for a gym. He went to the most
sophisticaed, ultra-huge gym, a building 25 stories tall.
He walks to the reception, and says - I want to have the
fastest workout this gym can offer me, for $200.00.
So the guy says "hey - no problem, 10th floor, room 1017"
The dude pays, and takes the elevator.
He enters the huge room, and sees this beautiful, naked
woman, standing in the far corner. The woman says: "If you
catch me, I'm yours !"
And the guy had a great workout trying to catch her, but
didn't get lucky...
So after a week, he comes back to the gym, and thinks
"if I got that for $200.00, I wonder what I'll get for $500.00..."
So he says to the receptionist: "Give me your $500.00
fast-workout deal"
-"Sure, 25th floor, room 2599"
Takes the elevator, enters the room.
Inside this huge hall, on the far corner, stands a huge,
drooling, full of sweat and smelly man, who says: "If I catch
you, you're mine !"

lol

Sarah_Jayne 01-14-2004 02:23 PM

wimps

Rankings 01-14-2004 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jarass
A Fat Joke

This guy was really fat, and the doc told him, that if he
keeps this up, he'll end up dead.
So he decided to sign up for a gym. He went to the most
sophisticaed, ultra-huge gym, a building 25 stories tall.
He walks to the reception, and says - I want to have the
fastest workout this gym can offer me, for $200.00.
So the guy says "hey - no problem, 10th floor, room 1017"
The dude pays, and takes the elevator.
He enters the huge room, and sees this beautiful, naked
woman, standing in the far corner. The woman says: "If you
catch me, I'm yours !"
And the guy had a great workout trying to catch her, but
didn't get lucky...
So after a week, he comes back to the gym, and thinks
"if I got that for $200.00, I wonder what I'll get for $500.00..."
So he says to the receptionist: "Give me your $500.00
fast-workout deal"
-"Sure, 25th floor, room 2599"
Takes the elevator, enters the room.
Inside this huge hall, on the far corner, stands a huge,
drooling, full of sweat and smelly man, who says: "If I catch
you, you're mine !"

i posted the same joke at the top of the thread

StacyCat 01-14-2004 11:01 PM

Yall suck.

Yall royally suck.

We just ask you to prove that you can make jokes about fat people, and you cant.

MadCap 01-14-2004 11:08 PM

I got one




Hey ya fat fuck

beergood 01-15-2004 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by beergood
http://www.bonairenature.com/images/donkey.jpg
Sarah & Stacey. A couple of fat asses.

PlayGirl 01-15-2004 01:20 AM

:1orglaugh

bhutocracy 01-15-2004 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Scott McD
Yo Momma Is So Fat...

She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

i've always liked that one.

MadCap 01-15-2004 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by beergood
http://www.antimater.com/funny/fatass.gif
:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh



fat fuck

junction 01-15-2004 01:34 AM

My girlfriend asked me if the dress she was wearing made her look fat.

I said, no sweetie, its your fat that makes you look fat.

maxdaname 01-15-2004 01:37 AM

Yo mama is so fat she needs 2 chair to sit!
- Hank Hill

Persius 01-15-2004 02:43 AM

Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

Yo mama's so fat, but I fucked her anyway.

Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her
a pair of shoes.

Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits.

Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.

Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.


those are some good ones


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