I love my fiance but...
 

Sometimes... My god, she can be a spoiled little brat. I bought her the house she wanted, took her brother in, paid for her college, and now she wants to sell the place to move closer to her mom.

BTW - we only live 1hr from her mom. I bought the house her b/c it was the closest we could be to her mom and her school. Now that she graduated, she wants me to uproot from my job, my life (which has been built around taking care of her) to move back to her home town.

I love her to death, but she doesn't work, and has really only demanded her way. So tonight, she tells me this while I am trying to finish a project. If the only stress and inperfection I had in my life was that I wished I was closer to my parents I would be a happy person. She has had everything handed to her without having to sweat for it one bit.

So, I told her if our life is not important. If she doesn't want to find a job up here... If she is really unhappy, then she can go. I love her, but our life has to be about the two of us, and then family and not the other way around. I have done as she wanted our whole relationship, and have tried to accomadate her wishes as best as possible.

Today, I think she will have to decide where I stand in her life. Seriously, if she can't put our survival before her wishes to love closer to home, she can leave. My life needs to be about family, but not so much that it is going to force me to move, and change my career.

Damn... I'm pissed about how little she appreciates. So, this it... There is a line in the sand and decision to be made. If she can't try to be happy or make the best of not always getting what she wants... She can go. I would be sad... But I will not live like this. There needs to be balance.

You gotta stand up for yourself man...dont let her push you around the rest of your life...(making a whip-cracking noise)

Good luck, I guess today you'll find out if she really loves ya...

You do the right thing you both have to work together to keep a relationship going.

What was all the college for if she's not going to use it to earn money?


This chick hasn't grown up yet. Send her packing to her mommy. If you meet someone new in the next few months it will be her loss. If you haven't met someone new in the next few months and she comes back begging forgiveness, well, then it's your call whether you even want her back at that point.


Hard to have lasting love when someone simply refuses to grow the fuck up.

Sounds like you've created a monster by always giving her what she wanted. Put your foot down and stand your ground. If she leaves, she was a spoiled little brat to begin with and you're probably better off with out her.

Best of luck

Man that sucks.

I have a friend who has a chick like that. He literaly works 75 hours per week, giving her a princess' life. She spends his paycheck the minute it comes in and spends rent money on clothes. So he would then have ot work an extra 25 hours a week out of town to pay rent. Then she has the nerve to make him move where SHE wants to move. Expensive condo appartment, new car, clothes for her again, more bullshit.

Luckily he had enough and put his fucking foot down after me bitching at him about it He told her this princess life was OVER and she best get her ass out, get a job and pay her own fucking way from now on. She accepted it after much fighting between the two of them and they now live happily. Thank god too, cause the last chick he put his foot down about left him and kept EVERYTHING for herself that HE paid and worked for. Furniture, all of his toys, even his damn clothes! He came home one day to find the place empty with just a ratty TV stand left and a painting on the wall.

Hope that doesn't happen to you

how old is she? Does she come from a well to do family? Sounds like a spoiled brat (ive dated plenty of spoiled rich girls in my life, and they are more than a handful)didn't you see any warning signs before you got married?

Let me guess, she is probably very attractive and daddies little girl. She will never find a guy who treats her as good as daddy did. and when I say a guy who treats her as good as daddy, I mean a guy who will never say "no" to her.

good luck, are there any kids involved?

Congrats on growing a pair. She's got to realise that it's a two way street. :thumbsup

You poor thing, you're doing the right thing, you can't give up your life and your career to continue her spoiled life. Don't EVER let anyone take advantage of you, no matter how much you love them!


:Oh crap

:thumbsup

I hope it works out for you man.

Good advice!!! ....saaaaaaaaaay wanna get married? :winkwink:

1. 26

2. Actually, she was very very very poor.

3. Her dad died when she was young.

4. Warning signs... Well, no... I wouldn't expect a poor girl without a dad to act like a rich little daddy's girl, but what you describe in your post is in fact the attitude she is displaying.

Personally, I think it's her mom. Her mom spoiled her and her borther to the point where they don't know how to do shit. I mean at 18 I knew how to take care of myself. These two, are relatively lazy and inept. (meaning they wouldn't know where to file taxes, apply for student loans, or even apply for a credit card if I didn't do it all for them) Which was still acceptable to me. It's just if you are going to be spoiled on top of it and not want to work and make demands... Shit...

The person that said she needs to grow the fuck up was right. She really does. So, hopefully she will. I don't want to be a jerk or unkind to her. I do want her to be mature and realistic. If she is going to demand a lot, she should work on it with me, and make me work on it for her.

i don't think you were being a jerk at all. maybe telling her how this affects you, and letting her know that only some of what you do can be for her, will help her become a grownup.

you can't be the only grownup in a relationship unless you're into that kind of relationship. it doesn't sound like you are.

and if she likes you doing all that stuff for her, she needs to do bunches of stuff for you - and i don't mean just sex.

good luck to you, whatever happens with her!

Thanks for all the advice and words! I really appreciate it!

Good on you for putting your foot down... it has to be done sometimes. :thumbsup

Post a pic of her and then I'll let you know what you should do...

damn..good luck dude :/

my thought :thumbsup

goog luck dude

Do you work in Adult business full time? Or do you have some sort of carreer outside our business?

Its oh so easy to work from anywhere in the world in our business, well it is for me anyway. All I need is my laptop, an internet connection and a roof over my head.

I know thats not the point in this, she wanted a nice new house and you bought her it so she should appreciate it. If she knows you can work from anywhere she is gonna use that against you to get what you want.

Don't let her treat you like shit. Remind her how much of YOUR money you have spent on her, remind her she wanted the nice house in the first place. If she doesn't get a job, have her doing shit for you. If not then get her outta there!

One word: women

But ya still gotta love them I know I do. In all seriousness ( did I spell that right?) if you love her that's all that counts. :thumbsup

It's about time, relationships are always give and take, sounds like she is mostly taking without giving much back.

Just an idea... rather than laying down an ultimatum, how about stunning her and leaving her speechless with one simple word?

"No."

She evidently doesn't get to hear that very often, you might be surprised at the result. She might back down. If not, *then* you throw down the ultimatum.

What's the brother's take on moving closer to mommy? And why can't you move closer to your own folks, it seems like you'd really like to?

She sounds like a good fuck.

Really really good advice.

To the other post about what her brother's take on it is... He doesn't want to move closer to his mom. He wants to move into the city, but doesn't want to pay for it. My fiance would like me to also pay for his schooling and stay in the city.

However, I did say no to that clearly. About the handing her a decision. She told me she wanted to do things her way. So really, I did say no. She didn't like it. So, I am not trying to force a decision. I am just saying it will not be that way, and if that is what you want, I can respect it. I just can't be with you if that is what you are in fact going to do.

Do I work on the net full time? Yes, I do. The reason that I don't want to leave is that I have clients for non adult work, and they are in the area, and meeting with them is necessary in order to keep it going.

As far as a pic... My scanner and digi cam are at her mom's place actually, so I have no way of getting one up for now, but if I can find something I'll post it. Though trust me, she is attractive. (cheerleader, pom pon drill team girl, and soccer player) Though, looks aren't what's important. I love this girl and that means loving her if she is hot or not. It's about the way she is treating me.

Tell her you're glad she brought up the subject of moving again as you have been considering moving to (opposite coast).

She should be lucky you are willing to be within an hour of her mom.

i wish you both the best no matter what her decision will be.

awww.... your fiancee is such a very very very lucky girl huh... she's one of those lucky girl to have a kind of man like you... they always she... you never know how important the person is... until you lost them

Good move guy! :thumbsup

http://www.camchicks.tv/cartman.gif

Sounds like a grade A bitch to me bro. Get the hell out. You sound like way to nice a person to be putting up with that bullshit.

Go see some strippers and bang a few club sluts and you'll feel alot better.

Stick to your guns...after all....your life is just as effected by your decisions as hers. If you continue to cater to her whims, she'll never stop. If she wants to find a job closer to mom, she can commute. If she doesn't want to work after spending all that money on college, why the hell did she go to college in the first place? I'm sure she's not turning out to be the person you expected you'd marry. As for her brother, he needs to get his own life.

Show her the highway!!!

If she wants to be by her mom, send her packin then!! It seems you make all of her other dreams come true, right? Make her last demand...errr..*cough* "DREAM" , come true! :thumbsup


By the way, ANY girl would be lucky to have you.....paid for her college????????? Thats fuckin awesome! Tell her to get a job too while at Mommies house rent-free and start paying you back :winkwink: hehehe

just my :2 cents:

This will straighten her out

http://www.jimgoad.com/images/jim_goad_suzy3.jpg

when you are at 26 it's a bit late to change
but talking is always a good idea

good luck, man:thumbsup

I actually think everyone has given you good advice. All I can say is that I am getting from you that she doesn't appreciate you completly. I am a BIG momma's girl, my husband bought a house almost 3 hours away from my mom, and since I am married, I made my decision the day I chose to be with my husband forever.
Life is about decisions, growing up. You can't always have everything the way you want it. It realy sounds like this girl doesn't appreciate you. You have done a lot for her, let her sacrifice an hour from her mom, and choose to be where you bought your home. She's very spoil, and you have to put an end to that. One thing is being nice like you are, the other is just having someone completly control u, and walk all over you..:( I wish you the best of luck, I hope that you realize the world is full of many women, there are actually women out there who can love u for u, work, and be in an independent relationship.

she must be good in the sack...you think you got it bad now..just wait till you marry her...1000 times worse...and if she was good in the sack before you got married then she wont be anymore...fact

I'd say fuck that bitch, tell her how you feel, put your fucking foot down and stop being a little bitch! Jesus have some fucking balls man!

Just recently had to make the same decision, Actully Its been made before but I took her back thinking she grew up.
:1orglaugh think again, and get on with your life man. Im sure shes a stress case.

Find a new female no reason to put up with a spoiled brat there are plenty of non spoiled females out there.

Let us know how it turns out!
Drama......

I agree! Thank you everyone. You really have helped me consider a lot. I'll be talking to her when she gets back home. Hopefully, she will have done some thinking about it as well.

But the best advice is......


http://www.jimgoad.com/images/jim_goad_suzy3.jpg

Hehehe, the guy slapping the girl pic is funny, but... I'm not good at yelling or hitting... I'll try to be reasonable and fair. I was just starting to think that maybe I was being an asshole for not selling the place and moving, but I really don't think an hour is too far away... We did only buy this place at the end of August, and I have barely gotten everything set up here.

Hopefully, she'll just be cool. The more I think about this, the more I think her mom may be the source. I found out from her brother that her mom recently told her she wanted us to move closer, so that has got to be a part of it. Also, her mom mentioned that she has been no fun since she started dating me.

I should mention... Her mom is on husband #4...

I used to have a boyfriend like that...so the tables were turned...he could never keep a job and every job that I got him he lost...until finally one day I picked everything up and moved out...he still owes me thousands of dollars that I know I'll never see....I thought he was the love of my life and I put up w/ him for 5 years...u need to stand up to this spoiled brat and move on or she needs to stop and make some changes in her life and attitude....relationships are a partnership not a dictatorship...:2 cents:

dont take offense to this (i hate it when men and women both say this one made me do it or that one made me do it...making that a direct statement or a round about way statement) but you are the one who either created who she has become or added to her being spoiled and getting her way.

i understand you wanted to do the right thing, but no one ever told you to buy the house she wanted. no one told you to pay for her college. no one told you to bring in her brother. it's your money and employment that made all this possible. these are all decisions you made and now because you have given her her way for so long, you cant understand why she demands this from you.

again, you were compassionate or maybe she was the best piece of ass you ever had and wanted to hold onto it; either way, you made the decision and now you want to call her spoiled for telling you what she wants.

it doesnt work that way and for you to start laying down demands of your own may cause a problem.

i dont know you or your relationship but from what you wrote, you are the creator or at least the helper (provided she was this way when you met her) of this now very touchy situation.

trust me, if you were a woman writing this, i would say the same thing.

hopefully she understands what you are telling her and all this will go away but if it doesnt then you have to take part if not all of the responsibility........:(

btw i didnt read anymore of this thread other then your post so.......

jesus...sounds like a bad situation...all i see is you two getting married and you eventually drawing the line and not giving her something she wants...she will flip out...you will get a divorce...she will take everything.

Actually they can be worse. Going from nothing to having something that they didn't earn on their own.

My ex was like that. She was dirt poor when we hooked up and a a sweetheart, but once she realized she didn't have to work cause I made enough then she because a real primadona.

When I drew my line in the sand, she thought she deserved all my shit. But I htink that was just to get even.

this is the downside to a trophy wife... :2 cents:

I found one that is cute, not stunning but she appreciates everything.... :glugglug