I need help
 

Im fucking hungry but I don't want to get up to cook anything or order a pizza or something.

Can anyone come over and cook me something?

If you are a guy, you can drink my beer in exchange.

If you are a good looking girl, I will please you like never before.

If you are an ugly girl, I'll call over one of my ugly friends to please you but don't expect much... he doesn't get laid enough to be any good.

Thanks

ill mail you some chex mix

My dick is cute

Did you say beer?

Keep the beer, I've got a friggin hang over.

wow pushing the button on the microwave is too hard huh?

what if i overnite some linguine with clam sauce too ya

I hate microwave food. I only use it to heat up my coffee or for popcorn