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-   -   Rules to live by (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=208832)

Amputate Your Head 12-15-2003 01:48 AM

Rules to live by
 
what are yours....


I live by these:


Work hard.
Play hard.
Be fair.


And don't ever fuck me. The day you fuck me is the day you will regret.

RightHandMan 12-15-2003 01:52 AM

Forgive But never forget!

Bigjohn 12-15-2003 01:59 AM

Those and...

Be yourself

PersianKitty 12-15-2003 02:00 AM

Never compromise your morals
No regrets
Never date a guy that can't pay his bills and have a bit left over
Learn from your mistakes

detoxed 12-15-2003 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by PersianKitty
Never compromise your morals
No regrets
Never date a guy that can't pay his bills and have a bit left over
Learn from your mistakes

funny... never date a guy is one of mine

Bobby Vicious 12-15-2003 02:20 AM

The Rules Are As Follows:

The Rules

- NEVER, and I mean EVER...date a single mother. There are multiple reasons for this rule. 1) She's already made one (or more) mistake, and you could be next. 2) With the Feminist movement gaining so much influence, YOU could be stuck paying child support for being a "Father Figure" to someone else's child! 3) With a single mother, you will always be number 2. Kids will always come first.

- Follow the "three strikes and your out" rule. Which means if he/she hasn't put out in the first three dates, dump them.

- Never pick up your phone Friday through Sunday. Screen all of your phone calls.

- No cuddling after sex. You kick their ass out in time for Sportscenter.

- Always wear a condom. ALWAYS. EVEN IF she is on birth control. No exceptions.

- Never spend more than $40 on a date. And if she pays, all the better.

- Pick out the women with the lowest self esteem. The lower the better. Beautiful women with a very low self-esteem are the best partners possible.

- Get in touch with your "inner A-hole". Women are drawn to assholes. If you?re a nice guy (pussy), you won't get laid. She'll categorize you as her "friend".

- Women are attention whores and will do almost anything to get it. So keep that in mind when you see some woman dressed to kill.

- Men, never have coffee or lunch with a woman unless you want to be "friends". Women have dinner with the men that they bang, not lunch or coffee.

- Women, you have no male friends. Every male you call a friend wants to bang the living fuck out of you. If you don't believe me, then as a test...tell any one of your male friends that you want to sleep with them and see if they turn you down.

- Stay away from any women who say the words "All my friends are guys". That is trouble and should be avoided at all costs.

- If the person you are dating stops putting out, "Dump that bitch".

- Men, the reason why you are "friends" with a woman with the exception of having a past relationship with her...is that she doesn't find you attractive. The truth hurts. Move on.

- Men, the more confidence you show the better chances you have of getting the girl. Women smell a pussy (figurative term for a man with no self esteem) a mile away and they can also smell confidence. Women are attracted to confidence almost more than anything else.

- Don't ever tell a woman you love her unless you really do. Don't do it especially just to get in her pants. The consequences are many and get you in to big trouble. And if you really do love her, than Leykis 101 no longer applies here.

- If your girlfriend or boyfriend is spending a lot of time with a "friend" of the opposite sex (ESPECIALLY an "Ex"), dump that bitch.

- Do not get married until you are at least 25 years of age, and are done having "fun".

- Do not buy her flowers until the second year you are married.

- Don't do anything in the beginning of the relationship you wouldn't normally do later in the relationship. Because her expectations of anything you do for her will cause you problems later.

- Never hold her purse. Unless you are a pussy or have a pussy, you shouldn't be holding a purse.

- Never buy her Feminine Hygiene products for her. It is her way of testing how much she can "pussywhip" you. No self-respecting man would do this.

- Always become unavailable during the holidays. Never pick up the phone close to holiday seasons. Especially Valentine's Day or Thanksgiving.

- Do not go to a concert with a woman if she invites you...ESPECIALLY if she has backstage passes or has a friend in the band she is going to see. It just means she is there to fuck the other guy. She probably just used you for the ride there.

- Never buy a woman a drink. It's just another way of a woman getting something she wants for free while the man thinks she's interested in him. (applies outside of relationships)

- Eat before you go out on a date. Purpose is that a woman normally wouldn't be caught dead eating more than her date. So this results in a lower costing date by the end of the evening. You tell her that you are trying to eat healthy. "I'll just have a salad."

- Do not order a bottle of wine. And the reason you don't when she asks is because you want to make sure you get her home safely. And to ensure this to the best of your ability, you don't want to drink any alcohol.

- If your date picks up their cell phone, silently get up, leave the establishment and drive off without them. If they give you a lack of respect to pay attention to you on the date, you don't give them the respect of driving them home. And the Cell phone call is most likely her way of setting up her booty call after getting dinner out of you.


-Leykis 101: Tom Leykis: Radio Personality

http://www.blowmeuptom.com

Hindsight 12-15-2003 02:43 AM

1. Everything is relative
2. Lifes a bitch so fuck it

:glugglug

Hindsight 12-15-2003 02:46 AM

"- Eat before you go out on a date. Purpose is that a woman normally wouldn't be caught dead eating more than her date. So this results in a lower costing date by the end of the evening. You tell her that you are trying to eat healthy. "I'll just have a salad." "


Fucking classic :1orglaugh

kmanrox 12-15-2003 03:09 AM

- you only live life once, try everything before you die (trannies too, even, ya dont know till u try it!)


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