If you had to do it all over again...
 

for those of you that are married. or soon to be. or have been and terminated the tie.


what things would you look for in a member of the opposite sex when considering who to spend the rest of your life with? or at least a few years of your life with? would you recommend marriage to a friend?




no im not thinking about marriage, just kind of curious as to what people would look for in a long term relationship or a mate.

TRUST.

Can I trust this person with my heart, my money, my dreams, my life?

Can I tell this perosn how I feel and not be laughed at, hurt, lied to, abused?

Is this person willing to love me for who I am or will this person insist that I make changes that I may or may not want to make?

Will this person be there for me when I need someone to hold, to laugh with, to vent to, to cry with, to support me through ventures as yet unknown, through sickness, through death?

Do we agree on finances, religion, politics, child-rearing, pets, what fuckin movie to watch?

Does this person have a small penis or large vagina? Can I deal with that? Is the sex worth it? Will I eventually have to go elsewhere because this person just isn't cutting it in the bedroom?

Can I hold an intelligent conversation with this person? Does it matter?

Is this person really who I want?

lack of demon horns and barbed tails...

whoa, interesting topics, very thoughtful indeed. tala is one smart cookie.

one question though. about agreeing on finances, religion, etc.

i kind of think disagreeing on some of those is ok. but interesting thoughts.

May I add...
Am I willing to learn to compromise? Will that person be able to do the same?

...This is the main reason I won't get married. I'm far too self-absorbed

everything tala said plus blowjobs.

Thank you dear.

If you disagree about finances, then working together on a budget is going to be nearly impossible. You're going to have to agree on a budget and how to do things, whether it be her letting you control the dough or vice versa or neither.

If you can't agree on religion, then will it bother her if you don't go to church or will it bother you if she doesn't go? You will have to agree on this, even if it means disagreeing. (Think about that one for a minute)

Just random thoughts. :) From someone who's been there and should've asked all of those questions before penis #1.

Good point. :)

Although I've met some very hot Succubi :thumbsup

i think i too am too self centered to marry anyone, thats the same reason i plan to put off children for a while as well. i think if you bring something into this world, it should be the center of your world. and im not ready to give up the talking stick yet :)

And if you happen to have children at some point, how will they be raised? If you're a devout athiest and the other is a strict Catholic, there's gonna be a fight. :)

When we got engaged, a friend bought me "The Hard Questions". It was fun to go through it and talk about some of the things we'd just never talked about before. We'd been together for 8 years and I thought we'd talked about everything, but I learned a few things about him and he learned some about me.

I can't believe that people get married with all those discussions about china patterns and what color flowers are we getting, but none about religion, money, house and home. How can people be surprised when the person they married wants/doesn't want kids right away or ever?

Honey, you can listen to what everyone you ask has to say, but in the end, it's YOU that has to decide what you really want out of a mate....I'm speaking from experience. It's great to get other people's ideas, but you have to set your own standards and decide what will really make you happy with a mate and want to stay with her forever, through thick and thin! :2 cents: