GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

Every once in a while you find a gem of a site on the web. Here's a snippet from this one.
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http://www.geocities.com/SiliconVall...307/mar98.html

Once my dad sent me a letter while I was away at college. At the end of the letter, he said, "I was going to send along some money, but I already sealed the envelope."

My friend Dawn does a lot of ditzy things, but this was the worst one ever. I went over to talk to her at lunch one Monday, and was very excited at having met a cute guy on the weekend. So, I went up to her and said: "Hey Dawn, guess what!" "What" "I met this really cute guy this weekend!!" "Really? Was he cute?" Need I say more?

When we we youngsters we enjoyed playing ice hockey. One day we were playing on what was a very shallow swamp. Gary skated into a thin ice area and fell in up to the top of his skates. Being a little afraid of water he exclaimed HELP ME HELP ME I CAN'T BREATHE!

These seem a little far fetched, but here they are.A man in England one day decided to commit suicide. He was quite determined to succeed and so he devised this plan. He would place a noose around his neck, take a bottle of sleeping pills, light himself ablaze with gasoline and of course shoot himself in the head. Surely no person could survive all this. He selected a tree on a cliff overlooking the ocean below and slipped the noose around his neck. He took the bottle of sleeping pills and doused himself with gasoline. He cocked the pistol and lit himself up. He jumped from the cliff and squeezed the trigger. The bullet missed his head and severed the rope. He fell into the ocean which extinguished the flames. The fumes from the gasoline on his clothes caused him to vomit up the sleeping pills.