Maybe all these penis enlarger spams I get are onto something
 

I just got snail mail from CVS today. Addressed directly to me, not "occupant" or anything.

Front side: "Great savings on great protection"

Back side: "Do you want protection designed especially for you?"

Inside: A big ass ad for tampons. I even got a chart that cross references my flow with my panty size so I know which Always pad is right for me.

I think I need to get some penis enlarger pills, because the rest of the world is starting to get ideas about me. :(