Pope Translation:
 

Dear God, please kill me now.

I grow tired of urinating and defecating upon myself.

Why do you continue to let me live? What have I done to you?

Why can I not find some gold 22's for my pope mobile?

Please, please oh vengeful Lord I'd rather be in hell than to have to continue to wear these depends.

Fuck Mother Theresa, she gave the worst head out of all the nuns I have had sex with.

The fetuses in the catacombs I swear none of them are mine.

I beg you oh Spiteful One, smite me now I feel another bowel movement coming on.

Your faithful servant The Poop, formerly known as The Pope.