male friends vs female friends
 

Why is it that hanging with male friends usually comes down to drinking, talking about women, more drinking, trying to pick up women, drinking in a bar, talking about drinking, lifting weights and playing computer games, while hanging out with female friends usually comes down to dinner and a movie?

There is no such thing as a female friend.

Only chicks we have not been drunk enough to sleep with yet, chicks that are too nasty to sleep with, and chicks we can't sleep with.

I'm sure that's stolen from some comedian.

Such is the male mind muhahahaha.

:2 cents:

I disagree on that one.

I don't think males are capable of having female friends, unless they are gay of course. Because at any given time, if sex came up... you'd never hear the male saying "I don't want it to ruin our friendship". Women that have men friends, are usually naive to the fact, that these so called "friends", really want to take advantage of any opportunity to fuck them.

I've been through this with male "friends"... I learned the hard way. Men like to take advantage of women when they are vulnerable, i.e. having problems with their boyfriend. The girl is naive and actually believes the male friend will be informative and caring about her problems and give sound advice, but the only advice the man gives her is "Dump him, he's a fuckin loser. You deserve someone better" - which sets an opportunity for him to move in and make a move. Male friends will only talk smack about your man and try to get you to dump him. A female friend in most cases wouldn't do this. A female friend will give you advice and comfort to make YOU happy, not to make them happy.

It happens on every TV show... all the guys and gals that are just friends, end up fucking and getting married in the 8th season. I wouldn't be surprised if Grace ends up marrying Will and he's gay!

I used to think and a lot of women still do think, guys can just be your friends. That's bullshit... they only want to get you in bed, so they use cowardly and manipulative tactics to do that. It's all a farce... I don't care what anyone says, it is.

Think about some elderly married couples you know or happily married couples. Does the husband have a or many female friends, that they go to dinner and movies with, without their wives? I can't think of ANY happily married couple, that does that sort of thing. Same goes with wives... You won't see them out with their male "friends", hanging out like they would with girlfriends... because it just doesn't work that way. It's not right and it's not healthy.

Then if you are friends with the opposite sex and one of you starts a new relationship, there's always going to be a problem in your new relationship. I'd be pretty pissed if a girl called my man in the middle of the night crying and needing advice or whatever... but I wouldn't be pissed if it was a male friend calling.

These are just my personal feelings... others may not agree but from experience and observing, it's clearly a disaster waiting to happen.
:2 cents:

:thumbsup

Furious_Female, you make a good point there. Indeed a lot of men are just waiting for the right moment to try and get their "female friend", and indeed most men wouldn't pass up the opportunity to bed their female friends.

However, that doesn't mean that m/f friendship is impossible. I have several female friends who I enjoy spending time with simply because I like their company. Sure, I would have sex with the attractive ones if the opportunity arose and we were both single, but that doesn't mean I would try to hurt their relationships or something of the sort, or take advantage of them if they were vulnerable. That's not what real friendship is about...

I only have male friends to get them in bed.

:ak47: male friends

that's a lot of friends..:glugglug

I have lots of female friends that I wouldn't sleep with. We're just friends.

So I don't know what kinda guys you hang out with Furious_Female

Anyone care to respond to this, instead of the age-old question whether m/f friendship is possible?

Yes and you just proved my point lol... If they were JUST your friends, you wouldn't even think about sleeping with them, if they are attractive or not. Unless they are bi, a female NEVER thinks about the possibility of having sex with another female friend. The thought usually never enters her mind... And that is the difference between having female friends :)

But how does thinking about the possibility of sex make friendship impossible?

I'm not gay, but I only have female friends, essentially cos a] guys shit me off, and b] I can communicate more and open up round girls. With guys there's way too much testosterone flowing round, and the only support you'll ever get if you need it is a 'she'll be right' and a half hug and punching fists.

..and i make a habit of not banging any of my female friends..

if you have one adgenda, and it's not friendship, women will see it from a mile away.

Who said anything about having one agenda?
If you would think about the possibility of having sex with someone, but see enjoying their company as the reason for hanging out with them, where is the problem with that?

Because then it's not JUST friendship :) Would you think about having sex with a male friend? Probably not! Because that's totally platonic... BUT with a female friend.. you can think about sex with them and actually do it, so then it's not just friendship, is it? :winkwink:

Sure it's JUST friendship. There's a big difference between thinking about something and actually doing it.

And, why should friendship with women be exactly the same as friendship with men? The whole point of this thread was that it isn't...

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh I have to disagree with that too!

jDoG

I don't think it would ruin the friendship! But I don't find sex an emotional thing as a female does! I think that is my problem. Even with a gf, she gets mad because it's not an all emotional thing for me!

But that is my :2 cents:

jDOG

Well I guess you define friend differently than I do. Because a friend to me, is someone you never sleep with or think about sleeping with. To me, being friends with someone has boundaries that a more intimate relationship doesn't. Friends to me, are like family... you can love them and do fun things with them, but you never think about sexing them up :1orglaugh

I have female friends.. One that I hang out on a regular basis, is my best friends girlfriend.. but me and her go out to eat and movies together, without him sometimes.. its no biggie... we are just friends.. i wouldnt fuck her.. even if she asked.

If friendship excludes thinking about sex with a person, what would you call the following situation then:

I know a girl, who's quite likely the hottest woman I've ever seen. Obviously, I've thought about sex with her. Next week, we're going for dinner and a movie together, just to talk a bit and such.
Although I have *thought* about sex with her, I wouldn't *have* sex with her, because our personalities would be completely incompatible in a relationship.

Almost every single one of my really close friends is male. I just don't generally get along with females on a deeper friendship level at all. No offense to the ladies out there, but I find a lot of them petty, competative, and silly. Men may be ogres sometimes, but at least they don't try to pretend they're NOT! The few female friends I've had are genearlly women like me.. strongly opinionated, highly independant, and either bisexual or just not what you'd call FEMININE.

Well thinking about something once or twice is a lot different than thinking about it the whole time while you are "friends" with someone. And there's a difference between friends and aquaintances... when I say friend, I mean someone you can confide in and things along that line. If you continue having sexual thoughts about them during the friendship, then it's not just friendship to you... because you fantasize about it being more intimate than just innocent conversation.

thats what i do when i hang out with men, too!

LadyM, I know what you mean... I find a lot of other women annoying and uninteresting myself. But I have to disagree about the men not pretending to be ogres, because I have found that many men are wolves in sheeps clothing! They put on an act, tell you everything you want to hear, pretend to be your "friend", but all the while, they are just using that as a way to get you in bed. It's more common that men pretend to be decent, than they admit they are typical.

You make it sound like thinking about sex also means you want to have sex with that person. That's not the case though. It's just casual fantasies, the kind you have a few dozen times a day.

The friendship part, however, means you'll support the person when they need it, won't fuck them when they're down or drunk and listen to things they wanna talk about. Not because they supply good material for fantasies, but simply because you care.

We aren't all like that, take my word for it.

exactly. in reality, us arguing that all men are pricks and all women are naive etc is probably one of the largest generalisations out there.

I guess a lot depends on your social circles.

Yep. I have a few guy friends. They are in their 50's and 60s though.. :)

I guess it all comes down to everyone being different and having different friends and thinking of friends differently than the next person. What I consider friends, are people I'd never even think about sexually... maybe because I'm a female and don't think about sex as much as an average guy does. Who knows... but from my experience and from what I can tell, male/female friendships (offline) don't always work the same as same sex friendships. Too much sexual tension and hidden agendas. But again, to each his own.

To answer your original question in this post, guys with female friends end up with dinner and movie type of things, because guys can have the benefits of dating a woman with no strings attached, no one to answer to or have to be faithful to, yet still do all the normal dating stuff. I'm sure women do the same... they like to have someone to lean on, but don't have to worry about hurting them, if someone better comes along that they want to have a relationship with. Male/female friendships are practice for upcoming relationships.