you owe me royalties
 

Inspired by Mr. Fiction --
My research company just patented the process of placing patents. We are also working on:

-breathing
-sleeping
-masturbating
-urinating
-talking
-eating
-filing lawsuits
-"selling"

Expect your packages soon. We offer very reasonable buyout options.

I patented cell division.

You must pay me $0.01 every time a cell in your body divides.

I accept cash and money orders.

God the patent business is lucrative.

We all laugh now, but wait 20 more years and it'll probably be true.