| nazgul |
07-10-2003 10:18 AM |
Nazgul For President
I am sick of reading all the threads about what is wrong with the state of politics in America so I have decided it is time for me to help change the country I live in.
I, Nazgul, am officially announcing that I will run for President of the United States in 2004.
My Platform:
I plan to hire extremely intelligent people to do my job for me as I do not know shit about foreign policy, the national budget, trade deficits or any shit like that, and I am not going to pretend that I do. I will let my advisors do their jobs.
To curb crime, I will legalize pot. It is very hard to commit a violent act when you are stoned out of your gourd It is also hard to mastermind a well organized crime when you have the munchies and can?t get Benny and Jerry?s off your mind.
I will completely reform the educational system. Kids will be forced to learn, read outside of class, THINK ON THEIR OWN, and Exercise. I am sick of seeing these mindless, overweight, automatons who sit in class all day regurgitating the mindless dribble an apathetic teachers spews from an antiquated textbook. These future leaders go straight from a day of sitting on their ass in class to plug into the XBOX of their daily fix. I swear the generation coming up could be the first in history who is never forced to THINK at all. They wander between different opiates all day.
I will put a weight limit on spandex!!!! I am sick of seeing fat people in tight clothing, its just god damn repulsive. (Saw a hideous site on my way to work today. 300lbs women should not be walking on the side of the road in full spandex, it is a safety hazard)
Most Importantly I promise to listen to the people. The Position of the President is to serve the PEOPLE not their own moral and economic agendas.
I thank you for your support.
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