another funny
 

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
10.are going to look up there anyway?

11. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

12. What do you call male ballerinas?

13. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

14. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

15. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

16. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

17. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

18. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

19. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

20. Do illiterate people ever get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

21. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

22. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

23. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

:winkwink:

you are not a girl.

only like two of those where funny

i thought they where all funny.

:thumbsup

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Jebadiah Croiton


2. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

Benedict Francois


3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

For frozen bread


4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Frozen shit glows


5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Because he was a pimp with mad bitches


6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Yes


7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Coconuts aren't sticky


8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

So you won't think you want to fuck them


9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

To give the woman time to tidy up her pubes or adjust her rip cord


11. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

That's why he's called Goofy


12. What do you call male ballerinas?

Lord of the Dance


13. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

Yes, but everything is plaid


14. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

He was too far for Pizza Hut to come out


15. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Something you failed at


16. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Urine


17. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

No, it comes from mards.



18. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

No, also Goatse counts as one.



19. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

So Little Richard can make more royalties.



20. Do illiterate people ever get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Only after they shit it out.



21. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Think of it as a goal.



22. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Because he hates your fucking bad breath.


23. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

In a hospital, yes (hold it down)


24. Why do people post lame quizzes they're emailed onto GFY?

So we know how easily amused they are.