Oldy but a goody...
 

Top ten ways to be the funny guy in the office...

10. Ask to borrow someone`s pen- bring it to the bathroom- stick it
in your butt- then return it and tell the person to smell it- when
they tell you that it smells bad- be like, `It should! I had it in my
butt!`

9. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with
your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking
everyone`s hand.

8. Answer every question asked to you with `fuck if i know!` then
call the person a racial slur that doesn`t even match their race.

7. Always walk around with a big smile. Keep one hand down the front
of your pants.

6. Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over and
yell, `It won`t stop! God help me! It won`t stop!!` Then, when it
stops.. look down and say....`Oh.`

5. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and
sees it tell them its the fake plastic kind- when they try to pick it
up,
and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.

4. Before a meeting fill your mouth with custard- then during the
meeting put one finger in the air and make like you`re hocking up a big
loogie-then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the
person
next to you and say `Beat that!`

3. Inform a male coworker that he `wouldn`t make a good hooker,`
then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good `ass fucking`.

2. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if
they don`t, and then punch them in the mouth.

1. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives
you the sympathy remarks- tell everyone how you`re just kidding- then
tell everyone that they`re just a bunch of homo lovers.

That shit never gets old...

fucking classic...

One of the only fwd:joke emails I ever saved

"oldie but goodie"

Yeah, yo mama!