Anyone want to do Luge Doubles with me at the next Olympics?
 

It looks like an absolute blast. I can lock down some corporate sponsorships and maybe even secure us citizenship in one of those countries that has never actually seen ice in real life.
We’ll represent something like Ethiopia or Laos and show up with the most outrageously fabulous gay sled and the tightest, most aerodynamic outfits ever designed. I’m talking glitter, custom helmets, dramatic entrances, coordinated poses at the start line the whole 9 yards.
Forget gold medals. We’re going for style points, viral interviews, and a Netflix documentary deal after.

Nikki, are you available for mens doubles?