God damned fucking creep ass spider
 

So, i'm sitting here peacefully not doing a damn thing but taking a break from flash and cruising the message board. When I hear a kind of thwop sound and look around and a spider has landed on my desk. No biggie, I continue what i'm doing and the little fucker gets brave and starts crawling toward my phone. Ok that's a little close for me so I reach down to the floor and get a shoe to smash him with and he targets it and turns toward it. I think NO WAY. So I put the shoe down out of sight and he continues crawling. I raise the shoe again and the fucker turns toward it again and raises his (either front two legs or fangs i'm not getting close enough to tell). I then try to smash him and he jumps at me. All the time I have exactly three feet of clearance to work with here. And that's not e-fucking-nuff. Well I finally killed the little furry bastard and i'm going to have a smoke to calm me before I go get a tissue to dispose of him.

http://64.39.15.171/images/wirq13.jpeg

The spider was nowhere near your desk. It was on its own side of the room and has no weapons of any kind!

where the fuck do you live, the amazon?

I hate those little fucks.

nah just live in the middle of the fucking baptist bible belt. Good old oklahoma

poor spider

Why did you kill a living creature ? What had it done to you ? You could have just removed him with a paper bag or something.
He was probably just crawling across your desk to get back to his family. His wife and kids were waiting for him and you killed him.

My wife makes me kill spiders for her all the time.

looks like he took a wrong turn

must be spider season or something... I had a fucking spider dinosaur in here yesterday

oh the little fucker could have gone back to his family if he hadn't come so close to me. Like I said I was leaving him alone while he was on the back of my desk but when the fucker came around over my phone and squared off at me in front of my monitor right above my keyboard where my hands were then that was the end of his pathetic furry creepy little life. As for scooping him into a paper bag that might have been a possibility if the little fucker hadn't zeroed in on anything that moved and rared back his fangs or legs or whatever like he was about to attack. That was when the shoe came crashing down on him. I didn't really give a damn if I smashed the keyboard or what. Hey Amp maybe we should start a new reality site. If your spider dance was half as funny as what mine probably looked like we could make a killing.:thumbsup

mine wasn't so much a dance as it was sheer panicked resolve to find the closest can o' bug death.... it was either him or me.... I was ready to fill the bathroom with concrete if I had to.

I even considered bustin' out my new pressure washer and blastin' his ass with 3200 psi.... hehehe

It seems if I see a spider and Im kind enough to let it live, the fuckin thing always ends up biting me. No matter where or when. Its a no win situation for me.

This fucking weather is making the bugs come out of their hiding spots. This week alone I have killed 5 water bugs & 3 spiders in my room alone. I ran out of bug spray two weeks ago & bought another can this weekend. I'm never out of reach from the bug spray & I try to spray the room once a week. I hate waking up in the middle of the night with a water bug crawling around on my chest.

:ak47: to all bugs:BangBang:

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh