the simpsons. HAHHAHAAAA
 

mr burns, speaking to his football team before the big game:

"men, there's a little crippled boy laying in a hospital, who wants you to win this game. i know this because................ i crippled him myself to inspire you."







feel free to post your favorite simpsons quotes. :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

"This so called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord's prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate."

- Rev. Lovejoy

Just more proof to show that is by far the best written show in the history of television!:thumbsup

Bart: Dad, what is your religion?

Homer: You know... the one with all the well meaning rules that dont work out in real life.... Christianity"

------------------------------------------------

Homer: There are 3 ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!

Bart: Isnt that the wrong way?

Homer: Yes! But Faster!!

"Lisa, you tried your hardest and you failed. The lesson is, never try."

-Homer Simpson

"OK brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, let's just get through this so I can go back to killing you with beer."

-Homer Simpson

Man, I love that show. :)

Homer speaking to mail clerk:

"Hello, my name is Mr. Burns ... I beleive you have a letter for me?"

Clerk: Ok Mr. Burns, what is your first name?

Homer: I don't know.

:1orglaugh

.

Homer: That's not a job, it's a waste of time. What can poor people pay you? Nothing! What satisfaction you get from helping them? None! Who wants to help poor people anyway? Nobody!

Barney: Aw, Moe, we were saved by a sissy.

Moe: Yeah, yeah, we'll never live it down. Oh, boy, it looks like
it's suicide again for me.

Homer: Hey! We owe this guy, and I don't want you calling him a sissy. This guy's a fruit, and a... no, wait, wait, wait: queer, queer
queer! That's what you like to be called, right?

John: Well, that or John.

Lisa: This is about as tolerant as Dad gets so you should be
flattered.

Marge: Homer! This is the worst thing you've ever done!!

Homer: Oh Marge, you've said that so many times it's lost all meaning.

Lisa: Mr. Burns, I hardly see what destroying our meager possessions is going to accomplish?

Burns: She's right. Take me home, Smithers, we'll destroy something tasteful.

Homer: "He didn't give you gay did he?"

Great episode :thumbsup

my fav!

"Beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

I always remember that one because it seems to be completely true in my case.
:glugglug

Homer: "I told you.......I thought the cop was a prostitute"

Homer gets voted in as union president.

Homer: "Hey, what does this job pay?"

Lenny: "Nothing"

Homer: "Doh!!"

Carl: "Unless you're crooked."

Homer: " WOOOOOHOOOOO"

Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!

Homer: WHY MUST YOU MOCK ME, OH LORD?!

Marge: Thats not God Homer, its just an old waffle bart tossed up there.

---Marge brings down the waffle with broomstick----

Homer: I know I shouldnt eat thee.... hmmmmm.... Sacrelicious!

"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution." :glugglug

I love it when he starts to pray and calls Jesus, "Jebus" and mentions the gods of all religions

(homer impersonating mr. burns)


Homer: Exxaaaccttlyy (puts fingertips together)


Only a few of you guys will get that one ;)

At the breakfast table, bart is about to eat some bacon...
Homer: I said butter that bacon, boy.
Bart: But Dad....
Homer(drawn out): BUTTER IT....
(bart spreads butter on the bacon)

later in the same meal, bart is about to eat a sausage...
Homer: Bacon that sausage boy....
Bart: but my heart hurts.
Homer: BACON IT.
(bart wraps bacon around his sausage)

Bart: Homer, are you licking toads?
Homer: I'm not not licking toads.

That was one of tonights episodes!!! One of my favs. My MOST favourite favourite is the one with the following line in it. Anyone remember what the episode is about??:Graucho

Homer: Oooh! I'm making people HAPPY! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land who lives down Lolly Pop Laaaaane!!! (Homer slams the door behind him)

Well? Any takers??

:1orglaugh

mmm....the episode where he's a country music promoter?

Auditioning for Mr. Burns' short film?

WOOOOHOO!:1orglaugh

Cant seem to recall the episode... its an old one...

Marge: You should take pride in the fact that what you are doing is making people happy.


But I cant remember what he does....

I have 3 favorites episode.

Globex Corporation

Max Power http://www.drguile.com/temp/maxpowertheme.mp3

The Beer Baron



Narator: ...Walking about in a garish new hat he seems to say: "Look at me Rex Baner, I have new hat"

8F08 - Flaming Moe's

:Graucho

That is a good episode!

ditto:thumbsup

Ever see the one where Homer gets turned to 3D and ends up walking down the street in the real world, with real people walking by and shit.

I think it was a Halloween episode.

I've only seen it twice.

Homer: Its pronounced NU-CU-LAR

or

Homer (singing): " I am so smart, I am so smart....S-M-R-T!"

Globex Corporation:

the name of the episode is "you only move twice," it's hands down the best episode, for me it goes like this..


1. You only Movie Twice
2. Focusin (bart gets drugs to help him in school, he thinks MLB is after him)
3. Flaming Moes

Here it is:

http://www.seas.gwu.edu/~gogo/images/homer2D-3D_2.jpg

http://www.seas.gwu.edu/~gogo/images/homer1.jpg

This is the legalizing weed one:

Homer: You know, they call them fingers but they don't fing.

The bus driver: hah yeah

Homer: Oh wait there they go.



:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Homer sits Bart in the middle of the freeway in a chair, facing a Laramee ad with a picture of a volupuous woman smoking a cigarette...(after Homer thinks Bart may be Gay)

HOMER: Does that ad make you want a woman?

BART: No, but I could really go for a smoke.

Bang on! Good to know that I'm not the only one around here that knows WAY too much about the Simpsons.

Marge: You have the right to remain silent.


Homer: I choose to wave that right.... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Pop Quiz for the real fans...

In the episode where homer gets fat so he can work at home, they visit dr. nick riveria. He makes some suggestions about how to get fatter quicker (eg. eating pop tarts instead of toast).. etc.

What suggestion does bart make, that makes him say "hey little boy, did you go to hollywood upstairs medical school too?"

:-)


Steve

Homer trying to get Marge to donate her uterus for money....

"C'mon Marge, it's a uterUS not a uterYOU"

LOL

You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!

King Size Homer is one of my favorite episodes :)

Homer: I'm looking for something loose and billowy, something comfortable for my first day of work.
Salesman: Work, huh? Let me guess. Computer programmer, computer magazine columnist, something with computers?
Homer: Well, I use a computer.
Salesman: [quiet] Yeah, what's the connection? Must be the non-stop sitting and snacking. [loud] Well, sir, many of our clients find pants confining, so we offer a range of alternatives for the ample gentleman: ponchos, muumuus, capes, jumpsuits, unisheets, muslim body rolls, academic and judicial robes..
Homer: I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a
muumuu.

Homer: "To Start Press Any Key". Where's the ANY key?
I see Esk , Catarl, and Pig-Up. There doesn't seem to be any ANY key. Woo! All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB. Aww...no time for that now, the computer's starting.
"Check core temperature, yes slash no." Y-E-S
"Core temperature normal." Hmph. Not too shabby.
"Vent radioactive gas." N-O
"Venting prevents explosi-on." Heeheee...whoa, this is hard.
Where's my Tab? Okay, then, Y-E-S, vent the stupid gas.
(gas gets released in a farm and destroys some corn)
Farmer: Oh, no! The corn. Paul Newman's gonna have my legs broke.

Ding! winner...



Ok, in the same episode, name the 3 overlooked food groups that dr nick talks about


Steve

more King Size Homer

Lisa: Ew! Mom, this whole thing is really creepy. Are you sure you won't talk to Dad?
Marge: Hmmm, I'd like to, honey, but I'm not sure how. Your father can be surprisingly sensitive. Remember when I giggled at his Sherlock Holmes hat? He sulked for a week and then closed his detective agency.

Lisa: Dad, what are you doing down there?
Homer: Washing my fat guy hat, honey.

Operator: The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.

Bart: And I think it's ironic that for once Dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas..




My girlfriend refuses to watch the Simpsons with me because I recite the whole episodes while watching them.