grounding a 17 yr old for cutting class?
 

My just turned 17 yr old daughter says 17 yr olds do not get grounded. so what do you do for cutting class . This is the first time that we know about. no drugs, that we know about, no drinking, that we know about.

ground them

manual labour...:thumbsup

make her mow the lawn with scissors

Ground them. Bring their world down around them. :ak47: Teach them some respect or it all collapses.

Why do you care what your 17 year old daughter says does or does not happen?

Ground her.

Grounding seems like too much to a teenager, but does too little. Take away priveleges that they won't see as ruining their "whole life". Also, keep in mind that schools are set up to punish kids for these things. If they didn't, why should you? If they did, why do you need to as well?

I grounded my GF when she was 17. I met her when she was 16.
Damn bitch didn't wash the dishes. :)
Well, not really.. but I don't think 17 year olds should be grounded, considering that my GF moved out from her parents house when she was 16 to live with me. :) I was 21.

discipline comes from disciple or vice versa

meaning do what you're told. as in control.

smack her in the face and tell her

'you little fuck hole listen to me. and keep your fucking mouth shut now get your ass in the kitchen and start making supper your dad's gonna be home wthin the next hour.'

Is this the first time, or one of many? Have you talked with her about it? Is there something about the particular class she doesn't like?

(The are rhetorical questions; you definitely don't want me to know anything about your 17 year old daughter.)

Just wait till she turn 18. Thats when the headache I think will come in.

Use the threat of embarrassment, ... say that for each time she cuts class, you will post pics at her school of tub girl with her name on it, saying 'this is what i do when im cutting class!'

define cutting?

Don't tell me your actually going to ground your daughter for missing 1 or 2 days of school? Or worse a few classes, if its a reoccurring problem then perhaps some punishment is in order. Most importantly, how does she do in school, if she does well in school and cuts sometimes, cut her some slack, she's obviously bored by the curriculum. If she doesent then its a problem.

take her car away

make her give up a saturday and go work at a homeless shelter

hmm....should you be asking that question here?

not the most responsible bunch...

You're too lenient. When you punish your daughter for cutting class, it's a message that's supposed to be: Don't do this again.

exactly

Insted of grounding her, why not make he do something worthwhile as a punishment. Make her "volunteer" at your local soup kitchen for a couple of hours for the next few Saturdays.
Or with a charity that your family feels strongly about. Maybe she will get something out of it, rather then sitting around the house bugging you about how much being grounded sucks.....



:2 cents:

I think at 17, the girl probably has her values installed by now;) If she gets grounded, she just may hold a grudge or be pissed. Ground her at 17 and expect her to be an adult at 18....donno about that one. Maybe an adult talk or something of that nature may be better for the 17 year old girl. Really really:)

This has got to be the best way to go. If she really is a good kid 97% of the time then a missed school day here or there isn't going to hurt her. Especially if her grades are good. I was a good kid, got good grades, cut for the first time when I was 17. I had a good time that day, enjoyed my 'freedom of choice' but still graduated with a good GPA. It didn't do me any harm and I can't see why it would her unless it becomes a recurring problem or her grades go to shit. She's 17, nearly an 'adult'. Loosen the apron strings a little.

Well said!!! :thumbsup

Use of colors sucks big time. Use white.

I had not rules or order when I grew up... maybe thats why I am the way I am now... course I do live in Vegas and have my whole life......

I don't think "being grounded" would be the punishment. More so, steal something of theirs... Eventually if they keep doing things they'll realize their stuff is starting to go missing.. and maybe they'll smarten up! ;) j/k...

Cheers,
Matt

Its like when a puppy pees on the floor if you do nothing the dog thinks its ok . You have to put on a show that it is not acceptable and be really pissed. Your a parent you are not running for public
office your job is not to be liked. That is the problem with most parents today is they want to be friends. Actions must have consequences, when I lived in my mothers house for most of the time I thought she was mean and miserable but what she did was make a responsible, independent adult. She eased up on my younger brother and sister and had problems with them. You owe it to her because in real life cutting isnt ok.

So you are comparing a 17 year old girl with a mind and a brain to a puppy who (while still teachable) has a brain the size of an orange?

Cutting class is only a problem at that age if it becomes a habit or if her grades suffer. Otherwise why bother pissing off your teenager just because 'you are the parent and you SAY SO'. Treat your kids like people and they'll love you and respect you for it. Hell, it worked for my brothers and me.

This is absolutely true 200%.

My parents had 3 kids. I was in the middle.

They were very strict with my sister. They had very few problems with her, and she is now a very responsible adult.

They eased up on me, and I walked all over them. In my teens I was the kid you wish you never had. Family court. Juvenile detention centers. Bad. Very bad. They went back to strict with my brother after seeing me go nuts.

I finally came around and got my shit together... but I wish I had listened to my parents when I was younger, and that I wasnt such a nightmare. I would not wish on my worst enemy having a kid act like I did in when I was growing up.

I see your point, but my point is that they should have toughened up on you when they first realised that you were becoming a 'repeat offender'. Perhaps not the best words to use but I'm not sure how else to phrase it. Everything in life, especially parenting is about balance. If you have a good kid then letting them 'be naughty' now and again if it isn't going to hurt them long term. In fact it can give them self-confidence knowing that they DO have free will and can make choices themselves. If they really do something stupid the consequences will come back and bite them in the ass. If the kid is a little asshole, making a juvenile of himself/herself then sort it out and be harsh. No one wants their kid to end up in juvi just because they couldn't bring themselves to teach discipline when the signs of bad behaviours started to appear.

I'm just laughing that you let your 17 year old daughter tell you what is and what isn't acceptable punishment.

Who's the parent?

Ahaha...

Ground her. If she were mature enough to not cut class and understand the reasons why, she wouldn't need the lesson in the first place. I know my reply.. "17 year olds don't get grounded" I'd say "17 year olds who don't cut class don't get grounded."

One nice thing about our local high school, they use a auto-dialer system to report absences from classes at school. If your child is absent, you get a computerized call about it that evening around 6:30. Also, in WA state we have something called a "Becca Bill" not sure if there is simular things in other states. If a child has 5 or more unexcused absences in a month (even if it's 1 class per day), it is reported to the county child services. The child and the parent ends up having to make an appearence in a family court to explain why he/she is absent without excuse. Usually it's taken as a parent who is not in control of the child or doesn't care.

Heck... I grounded my 18 year old two weeks ago. He still lives at home, he's still in school, he still follows the rules. He has a car and a cell phone and no part time job at this time so he does chores for gas money, etc. He has the luxury of a cell phone so he can call and check in, etc. (goodness knows I didn't have that luxury in 1979). He calls, asks to go to a friends after school. I told him to call me later around 6. He knows that he's to call if his plans change. Well, 6 rolls around...no call. I call the cell.. no responses. I call the friends house and his mother says they left 2 hours before that to go over to another friend's house. I call that friend's house... her parents (who could care less what she does) know that she left with them, but has no clue where they are. Anywhooo.. finally he calls back.. they were down at the local boardwalk. I gave him 20 minutes to drop his friends off and get home. He was grounded for a week from going anywhere other than necessary trips and from using the phone.

Some people would say "hell he's 18..leave him alone", but they don't know my son or me well enough. He may be 18, but he's an 'immature 18'. He's still got alot of growing up to do. If mom foots the bill for the car, the cell phone, the food in his mouth, the clothes on his back, he needs to have the respect. I learned that it was respectful to let my parents know what I was doing and that if plans changed, they were informed about it. If I took off and then didn't check back in with my kids when I said, etc.. they'd be worrying and calling, no different than I do.

End of story..lesson learned and I doubt it'll have to be repeated.

PK sounds like a great mom. :thumbsup

I don't know...

The issue for me isn't even what she did. It's that she told him what she was going to allow for her punishment. He said you're grounded, she said you can't do that.

Personally, that wouldn't go over here at all.

As kids get older the boundaries change. That is definitely true. They can get away with stuff at the age of 15 they couldn't at age 5.


But when an established boundary is crossed, the punishment is whatever the person paying the bills decides is the punishment. Letting some kid tell you what their punishment will be is not a good precedent to be setting.

http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/a2m.gif

Trust me after that she'll never do it again.

Its not the fact that she's cutting class you should worry about, but what is she doing when she cuts.

Having been a 17 year old girl once myself, I'd guess it might involve boys or some partying. :winkwink:

Grounded at 18? Holy fuck.

I was in a bar sipping nickel pitchers of Natural Light beer at a college bar called 'Friar Tucks' with friends, playing pool for brews and talking about moving to California, I can't imagine getting a phone call from mom telling me to get my ass home in 20.

Fuck all that.

But I guess since he disobeyed you, that would be wrong. I guess you're right, this time ;)

:)

What do her grades look like? I cut class all the time in high school but I graduated with an A average and always had my work done. School is a joke.

I agree. I obviously misread the first post in the beginning. I didn't realise that it was teh daughter bitching back at her mother about the chosen punishment. Grounding would not be my choice of punishment for a normally well behaved 17 year old girl but if she gave me shit for whatever punishment I might choose to levy then she'd KNOW she'd done wrong. I very rarely talked back to my parents and when I did, they made me wish I hadn't. I'd take the same line with my own kids.

Is she fit?

Y'know content peeps love a newly turned 18yr old. :)

Seriously though, as someone who doesn't give a fuck about what their parents think [to whatever extent], how did parenting ever work?

If my parents tried to dictate my life now, i'd refer them to this board, and they could go fuck themsleves. I find it hard to remember back to when i was 16, and how i bathed in their wishes. [when i was 17, i made some nice $ from porno site, so financial incentives went bye-bye].

Serious question to the parents on this board, what do you do when your child tells you to gofuckyourself? If you can't control them via finance, what do you try and do, guilt trip them?

I'm shit scared of becoming a parent.

I would never tell either of my parents to GFY, I've wanted to many times, but I never would. Keyword: respect.

If your kids don't respect you, it's only your fault.

depends on how your kid is...good kid or bad kid...constantly cutting...good grades, bad grades....however your daughter is, even if you ground her for cutting class, you can't force her to do well in school, it's her own choice to make..grounding your daughter only makes her think twice about cutting but it really doesn't matter if she's going to show up to class and get bad grades anyway

yea, but what underlines that respect?

Why did you feel you could not say GFY?

You don't know what makes one respect another?

i dont think you could say, the answer is "A".

I think respect means different things to different people.

I never said the answer is "A".

Telling someone to go fuck themselves in bad context is disrespectful. I respect my parents because of everything I've seen what they wenty through while trying to raise myself and my brothers. I respect my parents because they have always pushed me to do my best instead of settling for second. I respect my parents because they were hard on me at the right times. I respect my parents because they taught me how to treat people well and to be a good person. I respect my parents because they respect me.

Why would I do so much as to disrespect them by saying "go fuck yourself"? It sucks knowing that some people don't have parents worthy of respect. Fortunately, I'm not one of them...

Hmmmm - as years go by ~ experience kicks in...

At 17 years old, my mum realised (in hrr dressing gown) that I was going to ride whatever bike I wanted. She kicked me out. Fair play. You roll the dice, you see what you got.

Yup, at 17 I was prepared to leave home to follow what I wanted to do. If your protoge isn't going to follow your rules then tell her to get out and find out how hard the real world is.

Guilt?

I think guilt is a large part of being a child- you dont want to let your parents down.

I think several of your other points also are much easily understood in hindsight, rather than through the eyes of a child. (certainly that is my experience, i've often thought my parents were wrong in whatever capacity, only later, with maturity, could i understand what they were saying).

I think fear is another component. Not always through explicit fear, but perhaps through the unknown, or lack of conviction.

I can see the situation where i raise my child to understand right and wrong, but also to be someone who thinks freely, and upon their own will.

I would like to think my child is someone who would/could challenge my opinions, rather than disregard them.

100% :thumbsup

it's not guilt, it's all appreciation

"Its not the fact that she's cutting class you should worry about, but what is she doing when she cuts. "

that's the most important question.