For the next 15min I'll answer all questions with a gratuitous shakespearean insult
 

The fount of wisdom is open, ask away.

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

Such inordinate and low desires,
Such poor, such bare, such lewd, such mean attempts,
Such barren pleasures, rude society,
As thou art match'd withal, and grafted to!

:321GFY

what is the purpose of life?

You live in the rank sweat of an enseamed bed, stew'd in corruption, honeying and making love ove the nasty sty!

Yo yo were be the white womans?

how can i achieve ultimate guidoness?

Hence, horrible villain, or I'll spurn thine eyes like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head, Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd'in brine, smarting in lingering pickle.

Thou bootless dismal-dreaming pumpion! Thou art a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of not one good quality.

who dat be what light through that motherfuckin' window break...damn

Thou yeasty sheep-biting flap-dragon!

Be put in a cauldron of lead and usurer's grease, amongst a whole million of cutpurses, and there boil like a gammon of bacon that will never be enough.

What is with all of the "sky is falling" people?

Oz

Is the lust for flesh sinfull?

How doth your wifeth sleepeth knowing you liketh to sodomize her after she falls asleepeth??

Thou art already dead. stabbed with a white wench's black eye, run through the ear with a love song, the very pin of thy heart cleft with the blind bow-boy's butt shaft.

Forsooth, what manner of man is this
that has his balls in parenthesis?

Draw thy tool. My naked weapon is out, thou gleeking reeling-ripe flax-wench!

O, were mine eye bans into bullets turned, that in a rage I might shoot them at your faces.

What is your take on BP4L?

Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with the pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?

I think my favorite part is the beginning.... "trunk of humours"

:1orglaugh