Dirty bar joke
 

A man sees a fine looking woman at a bar. He steps over to her an says, "Hey baby, let me suck on your nipples."
She says, "Watch it buddy, I'll have my boyfriend kick your ass."
He laughs and says, "Alright, why don't I just give you a big sloppy kiss then."
She says, "Listen, if you say one more thing to me, I will have my man kill you."
"This is my final offer", he says, "I'll hold you upside-down, pour beer into your pussy, and drink from your hahahaha."
She gets up, walks over to her boyfriend, tells him this guy said he was going to lick her tits.
He yells, "I'll kill him!"
She then tells him he was going to kiss her. By now he's pissed and starts walking in his direction.
She says, "Wait! He also said he would hang me by my ankles, pour beer down my twat, and drink from me!"
Her boy friend stops and say's "Sorry babe, I can't fuck with anyone who can drink that much beer."

:1orglaugh :winkwink: :1orglaugh
Oz

I really can't believe no one liked this joke.
I thought it was funny.
:( :winkwink:

Oz

I liked it

LoL I think 2 many ppl are to retarded to understand that one good one though :thumbsup

Mick staggered home in the wee small hours after a heavy night out with his mates.

When he woke up the next morning, he found he was in bed with the dog beside him in his wife's place.

"Glory be!" said Mick. " I must have been really drunk when I got home. I thought there was a lot of noise when I threw the dog out!"

A priest is out for an afternoon stroll and turns the corner and finds little Johnny with a hammer smashing the daylights out of a bunch of ants. The kid is saying to himself, "I hate these fucking ants...I hate these fucking ants."

The priest is taken back by the little boy's language and talks to him, saying that God doesn't make junk.

"Tomorrow I will be coming by again and if you can tell me three things that God created that are worthless, then I will let you continue killing the ants."

The next afternoon, the priest is out again for his walk and comes upon little Johnny smashing ants again. The priest reminds him of the agreement that they made saying the boy agreed not to kill any more ants unless he could name three things that God created that are worthless.

Little Johnny looks up with a devilish smile and says, "I do know three things that are totally worthless. The first is a prick on a priest, the second is tits on a nun, and the third are these fucking ants!"

A guy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady.

A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and had to let loose a big noisy fart.

Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her 'Do you by any chance have todays paper'?

The lady looked at him and said 'No, but the next time we pass by a tree I'll grab you a handful of leaves'.

Q. How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

A. Pick him up and suck him off.



OK I'm outta here :)

boooooo!
i reapeat.
boooooo!
once again.
booooo get the fuck off the stage!