Sly_RJ
 

Your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberries!!

*wiggle*

I know. I'm terribly ashamed of my parents.

Forget them and run away with me off to an enchanted land filled with perfume like flowers and beautiful white sand. I'll be waiting at the airport, don't be late...

You won't be upset when I show up in an old pickup truck driven by an old guy missing most of his teeth and straw sticking out of his smelly maw? Don't forget the gunracks in the back. :)

Other than that, sounds great! When you want me there?

Hey! You never told me you knew my cousin Bill!

Yeah.... I met him one day at the dumpster in the trailer park here (did I mention I'm trailer trash? Do you like spam for breakfast, baybee?) and he kept muttering about his monkey. I didn't want to be rude, so I said hi, and it went downhill from there. After his whirlwind romance with my german shepherd (that ended badly, and I can't even GIVE the fucking puppies away), we haven't been on the best of terms, but he was the only person around who's truck wasn't up on blocks. He agreed to drop me off there for $5 and another shot at the dog. I figured you were worth it, honey :)