Weirdest place to get caught wanking?

Church takes the cake.

Yeah that would be nuts, but I never heard of anyone actually doing that. I think I remember a couple getting busted at St. Patrick's or one of the big churches in NYC. Something to do with the O&A show. I forget.

Well you have now.

When I was like 13 I had court ordered community service. The maintenance man was sick as fuck and just let me do my own thing. It was during the week so the church was empty. I took a break to go smoke some weed in the church parking lot.. I was sitting up against one of those storage units/shipping containers. I had hours left in my day there. Don't ask me why but I decided to beat it. Raging hormones? Drugs? I'm the son of satan? Karellen is my hero? No clue. Mother of bad ideas. A youth pastor must've seen me jerking it because next thing I know he's screaming and running towards me. I booked it. Pants unzipped and falling to the ground. Trying to hold them up the entire time.. Heart racing. Dude chased me for a few minutes but I got away. Just barely. He was within reach several times.

I waited and hour before I snuck back into the maintenance man's office. I stayed in there until my mom got me later that day. Leaving the church I saw the guy and he saw me but couldn't do shit.

So I wasn't actually in church but I was on church property. And that is the one and only time I beat it in public. That was the fucking worst..

That's a crazy story, dude! I feel like it should be in the next Coen brothers movie.

I guess every public location can be strange

in the maternity suite?

Airplane.

A buddy of mine went to JMU, and apparently a guy there got caught in the stacks blowing himself. My buddy claimed the school paper ran a piece on it titled "Thar he blows" that also referenced Ron Jeremy's ability at auto-fellatio.

There's a big community festival around me called Comfest (Sucks, don't bother lol) and in the 60s or 70s when it started it used to be in a church and the yard. One year a hippy couple got caught fucking in the church during the festival so they had to move it to a park a couple miles away from then on.

In boot camp I would get assigned to clean the small bathroom that the company commanders would use and I would jerk off into the sink. I had to make it quick and I never got busted. But there was a fucking mirror just above the sink so I would have to close my eyes in order to cum because my own image in the mirror would make me limp.

I'd say a warehouse... You have different kinds of people coming in and out of that bitch. You don't know who's coming or going..

funeral..

Hahahaaa. NICE!