GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

time for a repost....

Dear Free Speech Opponent,

Where do I start. First, I will start by letting you know that this response is a "cut and paste" job. I only wasted my valuable time ONCE to write this. Unlike you, who obviously have absolutely social life beyond your monitor screen. Apparently not even smart enough to know that all your bitching and belly-acheing about that awful, intrusive, disgusting, spam you are so vehemently opposed to have done, and will do no real good. Want proof? Ask yourself, you bumbleheaded dimwit, has the amount of spam you receive decreased even in the slightest even with ALL your bitching? Nope. We bulker 's are like Indian cocharoaches (from India you stupid piece of shit), we "reincarnate" automatically! Kill us here and we just pop up there. You know, like the Dutch boy at the dike. It's gotta be frustrating for you geek sons-of-bitches. You just must have plenty of work to keep you busy.

I don't know if any actual bulker has taken the time to tell you why we bulk? Here it is. We know 99% of the people trash our info. But it's the 1% of 20 million respondents (200,000 interested prospects) BUY our customers stuff. Last week, I personally made $4,500 on just 5 runs of 1 million ($900 per million in case your calculator is stuck up your ass). Since I alone can put out 5 million single-handedly in 1 hour with 15 machines online, that means I earned that money in just ONE hour! Ask yourself, when was the last time YOU made $4,500 in a week. I average approximately $16K to $18K a month, every month! And I sleep in a $300K home, drive a brand new 1999 Lincoln Navigator with a personalized plate that resembles "YESSPAM" (NO... that's not exactly it. I'm not as stupid as you are). You however, I picture in a dismal, sick little fucking existence. You know what tells me you are such a worthless, stupid fucker? You aren't smart enough to know you are doing no real good. You're just a minor pain in the ass. Now listen up you geek maggot, we have decided after all this time to take the same proactive response you have. Only for us it's a snap. Obviously, your thinking "How did these people get my REAL e-mail address and not my "bait" address? I tell you. Hmmmm... let's see. Maybe it was a mole in the upstream provider somewhere? Jeez, do I want you to start thinking twice "Could the people I'm complaining to be a secret member of our newly-formed P.F.F.S.S (Proponents For Free Speech Society)? Could be. You're thinking... "Why me?" I'll tell you. You, unlike your anti-spam brethren, have been able to publicly prove your undeniable talent to run a traceroute. You've been labeled a trouble making "traceroute geek!" Unlike your buddies who miss the upstream, they end up in our "verified" lists. YOU, on the other hand are a different story. You're fucked. We have put out the word to the 100 largest "bulk-friendly" ISP's, web host providers, and other bulker that we know. A group of free speech proponents that could give a flying fuck about those jack-booted Nazi's at C.A.U.C.E, Sam Spade, or the RBL! We have compiled the 100 Most Wanted Geek List. Hey, and you should feel very "special" because you have obviously made the list!

Here's the game plan. You need to close this e-mail address right now and start another one. I know, I know; it's a hassle. Well, touche mother fucker! Here's our little two part plan.

Stage One: Use your e-mail address as a remove and undeliverable bounce link for a boring, bogus piece of tripe about giving away FREE spamming software! Let's see about 20 to 25 MILLION (just five sending hours for me), that oughta get LOTS of "friendly" responses from your "traceroute impaired" brethren. You're going to be downloading trash for fucking WEEKS!!

Stage Two: If that doesn't force you to close the account and open a new one, we will direct a 10 million e-mail blast (takes me just about enough time to press "Send" and get in 9 holes) directly to your box with a throw-away dial up account (Registered to: John Yahootie), sent through a blind relay in Uganda (for added protection), in file sizes of 1K (so you cannot block it by size), random numbers and characters subject headers (ex: nxcvrdfgy54re) so you can't block it by subject key words, and random character messages (no body blocking). Think that outta be hard to block? We do! ;-) Are you getting the picture? That you've fucked with the wrong people now, you son-of-a-bitch?

Plus, once we kill this address, we know you'll probably wise up and get a disposable account next time. Hey, but ask yourself "Is a legitimate upstream provider going really take "[email protected]" seriously? Don't think so. For them to seriously consider your belly-acheing your going to have to give them are a "real" person at Earthlink, Mindsping, AOL, or the like address. We know that and you know that. So, when one of our secret members get that one, they pass it to us at our "National Geek Registry."

Then, it's... "Yee Ha, doe-se-doe, here we go again!" We'll kill that one too! Ain't it a bitch to think the very people you may be complaining to could very well be "ratting you out" to us? Here's the solution for you, you maggot. We're killing this e-mail address nothing can stop that. However, if in the future you want to avoid this type of "special treatment" you can wise up, dickhead. Here's our advice:

1. Get A Fucking Life
2. Lose The Pocket Protectors
3. Lower The Hem Of Your Pants
4. And Most Importantly: Get that boney little finger outta your ass and start using it on the DELETE key like 99.99% of the normal people on the Internet.

You follow these guidelines and we'll take you off our list. It's as simple and as easy as that.

Some parting thoughts:

Thought 1: Do you think the upstream providers really "like or appreciate" your fucking complaints? Here's the answer. What are they in business for you stupid fuck? To make money. Do you help them make money or lose money? Here's the truth. They LOSE money on your ass. They have to dedicate a person to handling your shit. They can't stand your whining ass... you moron! But because the atmosphere on the net is as such they MUST at least try to respond to you otherwise their backbone, who basically hold them hostage, may cut off their pipe if they don't. If ATT, UUNet, C&W, MCI and Sprint changed their policy tomorrow that they could give a fuck about you * of one percenters, they would trash your complaints faster than you jerk off to the porn sites you so regularly visit. You're probably at the porn sites so much the porn sites put a fucking CAKE not a cookie on your hard drive! Thought 2: Face it. Look at reality, you are the SAME fucking creeps that bitched about "NO Commercialization of the Internet' in the early 90's. What good did it do? Nada, Zilch, Zero. Do you think the minds on Madison Avenue don't realize that awesome potential of bulk e-mail advertising? Sure they do! But they are biding their time because of the 60% of U.S. households who own a computer, only 25% of that 60% are Internet connected. Get it. The market isn't big enough yet. What do you think that is going to happen when 95% of U.S. households are connected? That's right all the major retailers are going to say "FUCK YOU WHINERS RIGHT IN THE ASS!" You, small, small, small group of fuckers are not going to stand between these major retailer and billions of dollars of online sales. Don't you even see that you moronic bastard? It really doesn't require a rocket scientist mentality! I give it another 5 years at most. Hell, with the $400 instant rebates, even Joe, the bolt twisting mechanic, is getting a computer "fur the youngins!"

Well, that it. You've been warned. Consider this e-mail account past history. As they said in Atlanta a while back... "Let the games begin!"

Sincerely, The P.F.F.S.S Proponents For Free Speech Society

Quote:

Originally posted by american perv
time for a repost....

Dear Free Speech Opponent,

Where do I start. First, I will start by letting you know that this response is a "cut and paste" job. I only wasted my valuable time ONCE to write this. Unlike you, who obviously have absolutely social life beyond your monitor screen. Apparently not even smart enough to know that all your bitching and belly-acheing about that awful, intrusive, disgusting, spam you are so vehemently opposed to have done, and will do no real good. Want proof? Ask yourself, you bumbleheaded dimwit, has the amount of spam you receive decreased even in the slightest even with ALL your bitching? Nope. We bulker 's are like Indian cocharoaches (from India you stupid piece of shit), we "reincarnate" automatically! Kill us here and we just pop up there. You know, like the Dutch boy at the dike. It's gotta be frustrating for you geek sons-of-bitches. You just must have plenty of work to keep you busy.

I don't know if any actual bulker has taken the time to tell you why we bulk? Here it is. We know 99% of the people trash our info. But it's the 1% of 20 million respondents (200,000 interested prospects) BUY our customers stuff. Last week, I personally made $4,500 on just 5 runs of 1 million ($900 per million in case your calculator is stuck up your ass). Since I alone can put out 5 million single-handedly in 1 hour with 15 machines online, that means I earned that money in just ONE hour! Ask yourself, when was the last time YOU made $4,500 in a week. I average approximately $16K to $18K a month, every month! And I sleep in a $300K home, drive a brand new 1999 Lincoln Navigator with a personalized plate that resembles "YESSPAM" (NO... that's not exactly it. I'm not as stupid as you are). You however, I picture in a dismal, sick little fucking existence. You know what tells me you are such a worthless, stupid fucker? You aren't smart enough to know you are doing no real good. You're just a minor pain in the ass. Now listen up you geek maggot, we have decided after all this time to take the same proactive response you have. Only for us it's a snap. Obviously, your thinking "How did these people get my REAL e-mail address and not my "bait" address? I tell you. Hmmmm... let's see. Maybe it was a mole in the upstream provider somewhere? Jeez, do I want you to start thinking twice "Could the people I'm complaining to be a secret member of our newly-formed P.F.F.S.S (Proponents For Free Speech Society)? Could be. You're thinking... "Why me?" I'll tell you. You, unlike your anti-spam brethren, have been able to publicly prove your undeniable talent to run a traceroute. You've been labeled a trouble making "traceroute geek!" Unlike your buddies who miss the upstream, they end up in our "verified" lists. YOU, on the other hand are a different story. You're fucked. We have put out the word to the 100 largest "bulk-friendly" ISP's, web host providers, and other bulker that we know. A group of free speech proponents that could give a flying fuck about those jack-booted Nazi's at C.A.U.C.E, Sam Spade, or the RBL! We have compiled the 100 Most Wanted Geek List. Hey, and you should feel very "special" because you have obviously made the list!

Here's the game plan. You need to close this e-mail address right now and start another one. I know, I know; it's a hassle. Well, touche mother fucker! Here's our little two part plan.

Stage One: Use your e-mail address as a remove and undeliverable bounce link for a boring, bogus piece of tripe about giving away FREE spamming software! Let's see about 20 to 25 MILLION (just five sending hours for me), that oughta get LOTS of "friendly" responses from your "traceroute impaired" brethren. You're going to be downloading trash for fucking WEEKS!!

Stage Two: If that doesn't force you to close the account and open a new one, we will direct a 10 million e-mail blast (takes me just about enough time to press "Send" and get in 9 holes) directly to your box with a throw-away dial up account (Registered to: John Yahootie), sent through a blind relay in Uganda (for added protection), in file sizes of 1K (so you cannot block it by size), random numbers and characters subject headers (ex: nxcvrdfgy54re) so you can't block it by subject key words, and random character messages (no body blocking). Think that outta be hard to block? We do! ;-) Are you getting the picture? That you've fucked with the wrong people now, you son-of-a-bitch?

Plus, once we kill this address, we know you'll probably wise up and get a disposable account next time. Hey, but ask yourself "Is a legitimate upstream provider going really take "[email protected]" seriously? Don't think so. For them to seriously consider your belly-acheing your going to have to give them are a "real" person at Earthlink, Mindsping, AOL, or the like address. We know that and you know that. So, when one of our secret members get that one, they pass it to us at our "National Geek Registry."

Then, it's... "Yee Ha, doe-se-doe, here we go again!" We'll kill that one too! Ain't it a bitch to think the very people you may be complaining to could very well be "ratting you out" to us? Here's the solution for you, you maggot. We're killing this e-mail address nothing can stop that. However, if in the future you want to avoid this type of "special treatment" you can wise up, dickhead. Here's our advice:

1. Get A Fucking Life
2. Lose The Pocket Protectors
3. Lower The Hem Of Your Pants
4. And Most Importantly: Get that boney little finger outta your ass and start using it on the DELETE key like 99.99% of the normal people on the Internet.

You follow these guidelines and we'll take you off our list. It's as simple and as easy as that.

Some parting thoughts:

Thought 1: Do you think the upstream providers really "like or appreciate" your fucking complaints? Here's the answer. What are they in business for you stupid fuck? To make money. Do you help them make money or lose money? Here's the truth. They LOSE money on your ass. They have to dedicate a person to handling your shit. They can't stand your whining ass... you moron! But because the atmosphere on the net is as such they MUST at least try to respond to you otherwise their backbone, who basically hold them hostage, may cut off their pipe if they don't. If ATT, UUNet, C&W, MCI and Sprint changed their policy tomorrow that they could give a fuck about you * of one percenters, they would trash your complaints faster than you jerk off to the porn sites you so regularly visit. You're probably at the porn sites so much the porn sites put a fucking CAKE not a cookie on your hard drive! Thought 2: Face it. Look at reality, you are the SAME fucking creeps that bitched about "NO Commercialization of the Internet' in the early 90's. What good did it do? Nada, Zilch, Zero. Do you think the minds on Madison Avenue don't realize that awesome potential of bulk e-mail advertising? Sure they do! But they are biding their time because of the 60% of U.S. households who own a computer, only 25% of that 60% are Internet connected. Get it. The market isn't big enough yet. What do you think that is going to happen when 95% of U.S. households are connected? That's right all the major retailers are going to say "FUCK YOU WHINERS RIGHT IN THE ASS!" You, small, small, small group of fuckers are not going to stand between these major retailer and billions of dollars of online sales. Don't you even see that you moronic bastard? It really doesn't require a rocket scientist mentality! I give it another 5 years at most. Hell, with the $400 instant rebates, even Joe, the bolt twisting mechanic, is getting a computer "fur the youngins!"

Well, that it. You've been warned. Consider this e-mail account past history. As they said in Atlanta a while back... "Let the games begin!"

Sincerely, The P.F.F.S.S Proponents For Free Speech Society

... just testing the quote feature.