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-   -   Fuck you Google and the mobile horse your users rode in on. (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1155258)

PornDiscounts-V 11-24-2014 04:44 AM

Fuck you Google and the mobile horse your users rode in on.
 
So Google has a special feature now to see if your site is mobile friendly. If you haven't seen it before for some fucking reason you can do so here: https://www.google.com/webmasters/to...friendly/?url=

I looked deep into my traffic and ran a poll on whether or not my surfers who were on "mobile" devices actually wanted a mobile look and feel to the site.

Overwhelmingly the answer was no. Most people hate mobile sites because they look like they were made for old people who also have unusually large clocks and telephone handsets with extra big numbers. Users hate having to scroll forever to get to the bottom of a page for stuff that could have been placed into a sidebar... that is if Google says it is okay to have a sidebar.

While looking at my traffic I came to see a pattern. People who come from shit nations with no money and no way to monetize them have screens in the 176px to 337px range. These people are using crap phones in places like Pakistan. They are worthless to you. Just about the only thing they do that is worthwhile is act like it is still 2002 and leave comments about your posts, content, videos, etc... Something most Americans don't give a shit about anymore. Unless they are also broke.

Many of my mobile users have phones or tablets that view my sites at a minimum of 768px with many over 1000px. So my sites all fit their devices JUST FINE. I hate going to something like xHamster (using an example here) and seeing it have all of the videos in a vertical line I have to scroll through instead of the normal grid desktop users get. It totally pisses me off and I don't use sites with that lame ass layout. From my poll numbers it would seem my surfers feel the same way. Most phones are set up so that you can double click the "small" content in my left column and it will grow it to the same dimensions as your phone. So now it reads smooth and links are not spaced too close together.

Why does Google insist of fucking up a good thing? Is it better to piss off my surfers to get the mobile friendly icon or better to make sure I don't have an icon so that people who don't want the lame ass layout will choose me because I didn't conform? How long until this is another stupid metric that makes no sense when the one that worked great was to let the fucking surfer decide with their click (or tap)?!?!

TeenCat 11-24-2014 04:48 AM

it is google ... :winkwink: https://gfy.com/images/smilies/new3/banana_sml.gif

TeenCat 11-24-2014 04:54 AM

you know, say hello to google ceo and programmers meeting ...

http://www.bbcpa.org.uk/images/glasgow-regional2011.jpg

what would you expect? :helpme

Klen 11-24-2014 05:35 AM

Well i'l guess it depend on what kind of responsive template you have,but yes if we look at the way how it was done before(when you were redirected to m.domain.com)that template indeed look very bad,when i check mobile sites by using user agent switcher they look so horrible.

Jel 11-24-2014 05:39 AM

google, making everything new and improved!

Struggle4Bucks 11-24-2014 05:53 AM


Captain Kawaii 11-24-2014 06:46 AM

OBEY the Google.
Love, Gramps

EddyTheDog 11-24-2014 06:53 AM

You should block all Google traffic in protest...

arock10 11-24-2014 06:58 AM

Just another way for them to pick who they want to win and lose in the Internet.

crockett 11-24-2014 07:03 AM

I also can not stand mobile layouts..

Example, Craigslist a few weeks ago, fucked up their layout . It used to be I could view the pages in gallery view with 4 columns across my tablet, no matter which way I held the tablet.

Now they changed it so if you hold the tablet vertically you can only view 1 column at a time which makes you scroll for ever. Even if you turn the tablet sideways you now only get 2 columns on my ipad mini however my galaxy note pro with the 12" screen I get 3 colums if turned sidewys.

I could easily see the pics even with 4 or 5 columns, but thanks to a forced mobile layout I don't get the option... The worst part is I can zoom in to see less columns but can't zoom out to see more.

Barry-xlovecam 11-24-2014 07:43 AM

Quote:

do What The Fuck you want to Public License

Version 1.0, March 2000
Copyright (C) 2000 Banlu Kemiyatorn (]d).
136 Nives 7 Jangwattana 14 Laksi Bangkok
Everyone is permitted to copy and distribute verbatim copies
of this license document, but changing it is not allowed.

Ok, the purpose of this license is simple
and you just

DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO.
King Google

Barry-xlovecam 11-24-2014 07:51 AM



God said: "... next time you see me comin' you better run" ...

King Google

Klen 11-24-2014 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crockett (Post 20299929)
I also can not stand mobile layouts..

Example, Craigslist a few weeks ago, fucked up their layout . It used to be I could view the pages in gallery view with 4 columns across my tablet, no matter which way I held the tablet.

Now they changed it so if you hold the tablet vertically you can only view 1 column at a time which makes you scroll for ever. Even if you turn the tablet sideways you now only get 2 columns on my ipad mini however my galaxy note pro with the 12" screen I get 3 colums if turned sidewys.

I could easily see the pics even with 4 or 5 columns, but thanks to a forced mobile layout I don't get the option... The worst part is I can zoom in to see less columns but can't zoom out to see more.

If you can use firefox,try to install user agent switcher extension,and change it to desktop.

ITraffic 11-24-2014 07:57 AM

block google, all mobile devices and pads and all non-english speaking non-first world users. problem solved.

sirkonstantine 11-24-2014 08:00 AM

You're a webmaster, not the regular user.

Users, particularly the average user, are dumb and want LESS control and MORE ease of use. They want simple, intuitive designs. That's why the iPhone only has 1 button.

Design simple, intuitive sites and you'll reap huge rewards. Longer time on site, more pages per visit, more traffic cuz simple sites load super fast, and, now, more love from Google.

seeric 11-24-2014 08:31 AM

You can really see the rest of the world passing the adult webmaster community by as you look out the windows of the voyage we're all taking.

The fact that you can argue serving up shitty desktop sites to almost 50% of your user base these days is just definitive of the lack of adaptation that webmasters are doing these days. The mainstream guys are cleaning your clocks on every level of web mastering.

Webmaster are inherently lazy, (I know, I'm one of them), and we don't want to work for our money. We want the least amount of work for the most amount of money.

It's just not that way any more.

Cry all you want. You are not entitled to Google's traffic, or anyone else's for that matter.

You have to go earn it. And doing that means competing with people who are hungrier than you are.

Disregard these words and see were you are in 1 year or 3 years.

Stop bitching about Google.

They owe you nothing.


.

michael.kickass 11-24-2014 11:33 AM

Fucking Google, I dislike them more and more everyday.

TeenCat 11-24-2014 11:35 AM

http://www.bbcpa.org.uk/images/glasgow-regional2011.jpg

lets ... make ... some ... change ...

PornDiscounts-V 11-24-2014 05:13 PM

I don't mind making the changes. But my users don't want them.

Diomed 11-24-2014 05:28 PM

This is a huge win for Wordpress.

Guys,

I think your getting caught up on the traditional "mobile" single row designs.. when all that you really have to do is make your site responsive to view on multiple devices.

There are a ton of responsive wordpress themes out there, just pick one and hook it up.

It might suck, but it helps in the long run.

The responsive designs I use don't change on ipads or any tablets.. Because I do hate it when your browsing a website on a tablet and you hit the mobile page (that shit is irritating as hell, nobody likes a mobile page).. but the only time the mobile page ever really crops up on these responsive designs is when you hit it on an ipod iphone or another phone device.

This is one time that I am reaping rewards from google.. I can already see better placement ;) Could just be coincidence, but I'll take it!

Kingfish 11-24-2014 09:31 PM

I have done extensive testing the last few months and I switched all my responsive designs (most of them wordpress) off. The base iPhone 6 is now 4.7 inches and most Android phones have been that size or larger for some time. I agree with the OP unless your traffic is 3rd world mobile users want the full site just like they would see on a desktop. Even worse than Google are most Adult programs that continue to churn out flash banners and flash embeds like it is 2008 effectively writing off 50% of first world traffic right out of the gate.

Captain Kawaii 11-24-2014 10:22 PM

Don't be lazy. Fix your sites and take the Google test.
It takes about 15 minutes to fix. :2 cents:

HiddenDoorCash 11-25-2014 09:13 AM

Wow lol, keep it going!

PornDiscounts-V 11-27-2014 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kingfish (Post 20300839)
I have done extensive testing the last few months and I switched all my responsive designs (most of them wordpress) off. The base iPhone 6 is now 4.7 inches and most Android phones have been that size or larger for some time. I agree with the OP unless your traffic is 3rd world mobile users want the full site just like they would see on a desktop. Even worse than Google are most Adult programs that continue to churn out flash banners and flash embeds like it is 2008 effectively writing off 50% of first world traffic right out of the gate.

Effectively writing off the traffic that actually has money to spend!

madame 11-27-2014 06:26 AM

The amount of data Google has is massive and they know how they want "their" Internet to be and look like base on how it behaves now, plus short term forecast, in order for them to keep the lead in search.

They know that users will get used to mobile, where their ads need to be placed, what size the text has to be, the buttons... well, everything, and they give us exact orders on what to correct in we want to carry on in the game.

The users don't want mobile? This is why there should always be an option for the returning ones (and the new of course) to switch mobile into desktop version if they want to. In some cases there is a problem with flash content, but in any sites where its possible, highly recommendable.

Tdash 11-27-2014 08:22 AM

Not sure why people think mobile users want to see the full site because after switching to a responsive layout a few months ago, my bounce rate decreased by about 10%.

baddog 11-27-2014 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diomed (Post 20300644)
This is a huge win for Wordpress.

:thumbsup

I cannot help but think back to meeting a guy at the Pliny the Younger release. The people that introduced us told him I had a beer website. The first thing he said when he loaded it on his smartphone: Great, you have it set up for mobile users too.


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