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-   -   This is how you write an ad, anybody want to buy a Harley? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1141193)

MK Ultra 05-21-2014 08:44 AM

This is how you write an ad, anybody want to buy a Harley?
 
http://slo.craigslist.org/mcy/4480512421.html

http://images.craigslist.org/00404_6...NJ_600x450.jpg


Quote:

OK, let me start off by saying this Harley Davidson is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this bike would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of vehicle you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR A MAN WHO: does not own a toolbox, has never changed their own oil, and are scared of firearms.
THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR A MAN WHO: has been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season.
THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR A MAN WHO: gets offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and uses coconut hand lotion every morning.
THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR A MAN WHO: has never uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."
THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR A MAN WHO: owns a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans.
THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR A MAN WHO: considers the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm.

This bike was engineered by Army Ranger Navy Seal super-warriors to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is). No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a massive engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself.

It has room for you and a hotty you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's only 12,800 miles on this two-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this a bike. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasn't the fastest motherfcker you've ever rode.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me.
:1orglaugh

Horny Dude 05-21-2014 08:48 AM

That is going to get some attention. Dude must be a copywriter.

dyna mo 05-21-2014 08:52 AM

hah, those sportster riders sure need to build up the tall tales about sportsters. and to justify a 10k asking price for a 6 year old sportie!

Tom_PM 05-21-2014 08:54 AM

TL;DR does not a good ad make. He should have added at the end that if you were still reading then you are too much of an egg head for a Harley.

seeandsee 05-21-2014 09:00 AM

And i never had one :)

TCLGirls 05-21-2014 09:05 AM

He forgot to say:

THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR A MAN WHO: lives in San Luis Obispo, AKA: Hippy Haven of Central California

L-Pink 05-21-2014 09:19 AM

If he'll take $4,500 I'll have it painted pink and get it for my girlfriend. She's always wanted a sportster.

dyna mo 05-21-2014 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink (Post 20094611)
If he'll take $4,500 I'll have it painted pink and get it for my girlfriend. She's always wanted a sportster.

:1orglaugh

she might want to get a stage 2 kit for it, so it will have some actual energy created from the motor.

PR_Glen 05-21-2014 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink (Post 20094611)
If he'll take $4,500 I'll have it painted pink and get it for my girlfriend. She's always wanted a sportster.

i see sportsters going for that price pretty often. Why are they so much cheaper? I kind of like the idea of them being a lighter bike. I have zero interest in riding a couch on wheels myself.

L-Pink 05-21-2014 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PR_Glen (Post 20094622)
i see sportsters going for that price pretty often. Why are they so much cheaper? I kind of like the idea of them being a lighter bike. I have zero interest in riding a couch on wheels myself.

Here's the exact copy from craigs list for a black fatboy of the same year ?...

condition: like new

2008 Haley Davidson Fatboy - Like New!! Price reduced to $11,000

NEW REDUCED PRICE!!

96 cubic inch - 1584 cc
2,600 miles - Black & Chrome beauty
Perfect condition, garage kept under cover
Detachable windshield and backrest
Vance & Hines pipes & many upgrades

http://sarasota.craigslist.org/mcy/4467127696.html

.

Vendzilla 05-21-2014 09:38 AM

1200 sporty's are pretty fast, but not worth all that. The one I had was in better condition and I got it for 5k.
Now that I'm riding a full sized road king, I want a little more off the line power so I'm getting a cam kit, it will make a huge difference. I ride almost every day.

If you spend more than 5k for a sporty, it better have gold plating somewhere

Vendzilla 05-21-2014 09:46 AM

LOL, just realized I got my road king with less miles on it for less and I have a $500 lePara seat on mine

Tom-LifeSelector 05-21-2014 09:48 AM

Nice marketing text unfortunately :thumbsup I am too tall for this bike :(

scuba steve 05-21-2014 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink (Post 20094629)
Here's the exact copy from craigs list for a black fatboy of the same year ?...

condition: like new

2008 Haley Davidson Fatboy - Like New!! Price reduced to $11,000

NEW REDUCED PRICE!!

96 cubic inch - 1584 cc
2,600 miles - Black & Chrome beauty
Perfect condition, garage kept under cover
Detachable windshield and backrest
Vance & Hines pipes & many upgrades

http://sarasota.craigslist.org/mcy/4467127696.html

.

fatboy much more bike than a sportster. fun bikes, but not exactly the manly rocket he's bragging about

Fat Panda 05-21-2014 09:50 AM

a sportster. ha what a fucking loser

JustDaveXxx 05-21-2014 09:53 AM

Funny add. lol


Just Dave

dyna mo 05-21-2014 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scuba steve (Post 20094656)
fatboy much more bike than a sportster. fun bikes, but not exactly the manly rocket he's bragging about

to be fair, the sportster he's bragging about is not a manly rocket.

L-Pink 05-21-2014 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom-LifeSelector (Post 20094651)
Nice marketing text unfortunately :thumbsup I am too tall for this bike :(

With rider weight a Sportster seat height is taller than a Fatboy/Wide Glide, same as a Roadking and 1/2 inch shorter than a full dresser.

I've gone thru this drill before when friends want to get a sportster for their girlfriends. The weight factor is the only real difference, not height.


.

PR_Glen 05-21-2014 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo (Post 20094663)
to be fair, the sportster he's bragging about is not a manly rocket.

since when does the bike make the man? plenty of pussies on big bikes too.

dyna mo 05-21-2014 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PR_Glen (Post 20094840)
since when does the bike make the man? plenty of pussies on big bikes too.

I didn't say that. You said he was bragging about a manly rocket, and he was. But that sportster isn't manly and it isn't a rocket. Now some can be made to be and I almost took on that project after my dyna project.

but it's a tall order, to wit:

http://www.bottpower.com/images/121215-xr1-05.jpg

there are plenty of examples of rocketship sportsters, but they are very trick and that one in that craigslist ad is not one of them. That bike in the op is built from the shelves of the harley accessories dept.



This is another example of a rocket sportie and very similar to one my bro built and rode when I rode my dyna with him

http://domain.com.s180574.gridserver.../08/harley.jpg

scuba steve 05-21-2014 12:07 PM

hm think you misread my post. i was saying the sportster is not the manly rocket he was claiming. i've had one. its fun, great ride, but not the rocket he says it is

ContentPimp 05-21-2014 01:15 PM

Nice one.. copyscape it to reveal it was used many times for many other bikes :)

Dead 05-21-2014 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo (Post 20094877)
I didn't say that. You said he was bragging about a manly rocket, and he was. But that sportster isn't manly and it isn't a rocket. Now some can be made to be and I almost took on that project after my dyna project.

but it's a tall order, to wit:

http://www.bottpower.com/images/121215-xr1-05.jpg

there are plenty of examples of rocketship sportsters, but they are very trick and that one in that craigslist ad is not one of them. That bike in the op is built from the shelves of the harley accessories dept.



This is another example of a rocket sportie and very similar to one my bro built and rode when I rode my dyna with him

http://domain.com.s180574.gridserver.../08/harley.jpg

Stabilizer tied to the rod tube? I have never seen this..
Nice build, picking it apart is all

MK Ultra 05-21-2014 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo (Post 20094574)
hah, those sportster riders sure need to build up the tall tales about sportsters. and to justify a 10k asking price for a 6 year old sportie!

You gotta admire the chutzpah of a guy asking $10000 for a $6500 Sportster.
Unless he's one of those Harley owners who has what he's got invested in it confused with what's it's actually worth.
Quote:

Originally Posted by TCLGirls (Post 20094592)
He forgot to say:

THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR A MAN WHO: lives in San Luis Obispo, AKA: Hippy Haven of Central California

I occasionally amuse myself by riding over to SLO and going up Marsh Street and down Higuera setting off car alarms with my pipes and causing all the hippie liberals on the sidewalks to cover their ears and flee shrieking to the shelter of their Safe Place. (The Apple Store) :1orglaugh
Quote:

Originally Posted by PR_Glen (Post 20094622)
i see sportsters going for that price pretty often. Why are they so much cheaper? I kind of like the idea of them being a lighter bike. I have zero interest in riding a couch on wheels myself.

Sportster is a smaller, lighter less horsepower bike with a corresponding lower retail price, fewer are sold new and they are seen as a less-desirable used machine.
Seen by many (not me of course) as a "chick's" Harley.

How tall are you? If you are over 5'7" I wouldn't consider getting a Sportster, it will soon seem too small.
Ask Vendzilla, he had a one for a while, he very soon traded it off on a bigger bike.

You go out for a full day of riding and you get to about 300 miles covered you might just rethink that "couch on wheels" comment. :winkwink:

Like you I didn't want the full "Geezer Glide" and everybody on a Harley these days seem to be on Road Kings or Road Glides or Street Glides, I wanted to go a bit lighter, more nimble so I went with a Dyna, same motor as the bigger bikes but a couple hundred pounds lighter. Which makes it easy for me to outrun most other Harley riders I meet on the road. :)
But, it's not a great bike for long-distance touring, I'm thinking about getting a second bike for multi-day trips.

upforit_sarah 05-21-2014 04:32 PM

Ohhhh, a girly bike, just for me. LOL


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