Anyone in your family suffer from dementia ??
 

My mum now has it and it really is a wake up call when i go to visit these days. How a person can change so much in such a short space of time, i wasn't quite prepared for.

I think people can behave differently depending on the type they have or how far it's on, but to not be able to do many of the simplest of things really isn't nice to watch at all.

I'm gonna read up on as much about it as possible and do my best to help any way i can...

I'm very sorry to hear, did she regularly get the old persons flu jab? The Aluminum can gradually clog up the brain.

Best wishes for you and your mother!

I grew up with what I consider to be one of the best grand fathers on the face of the planet (I'm bias, of course). I would spend a few weeks every summer with him as a kid and he would take me out for ice cream, he taught me how to golf... he was more of a father figure than my very own father in many respects.

By the time he was ready to pass on, a few weeks before he went in to hospice I went to visit him. He looked very frail, old and had this blank stare. It was very hard to descruibe but it was like the lights had suddenly just turned off and there was no more fire behind him.

He started swearing uncontrollably at my grandmother using words such as fuck, cunt, etc. These are words that I can honestly say that I NEVER heard my grandfather say let alone to my grandmother. He always took the utmost care of her and held her up on a pedestal.

A few days later he got a hold of the keys to their car and a cop ended up finding him at 2am in some parking lot with broken shocks and he had no idea where he was or what to do. My mother had to go pick him up.

A couple of weeks later I went to visit him in hospice and it was one of the saddest things I have ever seen. There, lying in a hospital bed internally bleeding from some other ailment that comes along with old age was my grandfather... this person that was pillar to me in life, whimpering with his eyes closed.

I held his hand and tried to hold back the tears and told him I loved him and he mumbled something back... I like to think it was I love you too.

That night at 3am my home phone rang. It was my sister. He had passed away. It was heart breaking.

I wish you the best of luck with your mother. Just try to be there and be patient. That's about all I can offer for advice. Oh yes, and let them talk about the distant past. Let them talk your ear off. My grandfather, for some reason, could remember what he had for Christmas dinner in 1944 in France in WWII, but couldn't remember my name. When he talked about his past it seemed to make him happy so I went with it.

Good luck to you and your family.

how old is your mom?

Thanks.

And yes her memory from years ago is still intact. She can talk about many things from when i was little and put names to people who i would even struggle with.

But short term memory is gone completely. And you don't realise how much that affects EVERYTHING. From cooking dinner, to walking to the local shop. She simply can't do it now. IF she tries to cook anything, there is the danger she hasn't switched the gas off. Which has already happened. And when she goes outside now, she gets lost within 2mins of walking out the door. Even if it is just to somewhere round the corner.

Very, very difficult to deal with. I wish i lived closer to my parents house than i currently do right now...

i did civil service at a nursing home and had to deal with several patients...

Like Harmon said - the long term memory mostly still works, short term no.

do not argue with her when she says something wrong, try to postpone the issue, she will have forgotten about it later

but people with dementia become also more easily agitated and they will not believe you when you disagree

be patient

Sorry to hear that Scott. I've watched it happen to someone I care about and yeah, it's amazing how quickly it can come on and totally change a person who used to be vibrant, quick witted, smart, etc.

Harmon gives good advice about letting them reminisce, figure out what kind of stuff seems to make her happy talking about and let her revisit those days to her heart's content. And just roll with everything else. Best of luck, it is a painful thing to deal with.

She just turned 58...

The human brain is a damn complex thing. You'd think when your memory goes, it goes. How long term memory can be fine and yet short term non existent is difficult to understand...

Tragic, far too young for that shit :2 cents:

Yup, it's very frustrating to see the progression, but you almost have to laugh sometimes. She introduced my brothers to the TV guide, pours coffee over sandwiches, and forgot how to light cigarettes. She has a bowl of "no good" cigarettes that "don't work" (she puffs on them without lighting them).

I think a shitload of GFY family members suffer from demantia... so YES!!! ;)

2 years ago she never missed a shift at work.

Now, she can't even go outside alone.

Being a worker all her life, i think that's the part that hurts the most. Now she doesn't have that routine and being stuck at home most the day is something that she never thought she'd be doing. Certainly not before retirement anyway...

Wow, I always associate this with someone much older.

Very sorry to hear.

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So sorry to hear that. That is far too fucking young.

I think this is pretty normal with dementia, they often live again in their heads something from many years ago. My grandmother had this problem. It took years, but at the end she was not able to live alone at home because she didn't had idea what part of day it is. Sometimes she called in the middle of the night. Also, happened few times that during summer she was wearing winter clothes.

At the end, it was not possible to live alone because her own safety (fire,water,etc..) so we had to put her in elderly care home where she died fast because she broke her hip and when you are 84 years old, it is fatal.

From my personal experience (This REALLY HELPED for when is started to get bad).....

My Grandmother (now 93) was sharp as a tack until about 87, then slowly we saw the forgetfulness creep in, then serious dementia. She would walk in a room and not know why she was there, get scared, scream, cry...it was VERY sad and hard to watch. She is very, very far gone at this point and it has become much easier in many ways. The worst part for her was remembering everything fine one minute, then not the next. She is now in bed and just kept comfortable as the end could be any day. She has full time nurses...can you imagine all of a sudden seeing someone standing in front of you, not knowing who they are and why they are there and giving you a shot?!?! It was hard....

One thing we did (and I think a lot of people do) is when people get to a point where they think they are somewhere else, of don't remember who loved ones and friends are....people try to EXPLAIN the truth...."No Grandma, Its not your old friend, its your daughter" Or "Grandma, these are your grandkids, we just saw you yesterday". Its the logical thing to do, to "help them" remember. But what we found (and also learned from the nurses / doctors) was that is just confuses them more and makes them frustrated (Imagine a group of people telling you that the person in front of you was not who you thought they were, even though in your mind you know you are right, but everyone is telling you otherwise, you'd think you were going crazy) We went through it with my wifes father before he passed as well.

We found that for them (and us) it was SOOO much better to just go with the flow. We sit with her, tell stories, the kids hug her. She doesn't really know who we are, but thats ok, she knows AT THAT moment, she is loved and surrounds my smiling faces and that makes her happy.

If she says something like "Hi Shell" (my uncles name) I just say "Hi mom, you look great" and give her a kiss on the forehead. She is close to the end and you can't reverse dementia, especially by confusing them more....so we just smile, watch her favorite shows with her, bring the great grandkids over every weekend for a few minutes and wherever she thinks she is, or whoever she thinks we are....Thats what we roll with.

Keep is simple, Smile, just keep a feeling of Love in the room. Since we started doing that...she is happy and comfortable.

Hope it helps, It tough. Im sorry you (or anyone) has to deal with this stuff.

I thought the same thing actually. My grandma had it the last couple years of her life.

58 is way too young. Scott I am truly sorry to hear you are going through this.

Wow, that's sad; pretty young. They said my mom had it before she died but after raising 12 kids I would think it comes with the territory. TBH, I never really noticed a difference.

Sorry to hear that, do the best you can of the situation and talk about joyful moments from the past.

Do read, maybe you can find a supp that can make it just a little better.

Im not sure if acetylcholine can help some or if it's even okay to use.

You can try search for acetylcholine and dementia.

I forget

My grandmother just passed a few months ago from dementia, my great grandmother in 2011, and my grandfather has just started showing signs. Its tough but I was able to spend a lot of time with them as it is mostly a slower developing condition. B12 vitamins help. Luckily they all had/have very long and fulfilled lives so if the family genes play on, I've got some time ahead of me

my best friend... started when he was about 55... 4 years later wearing a diaper and being fed by hand :(

my mother-in-law...
a totally different person now :(

Some have different speeds of acceleration and pray it goes quickly. Her best day will always be the day before. There is no treatment and no hope. They will have brief flashbacks of remembrance but those are very short. Sadly the only good news comes with death. It's a terrible thing to go through. My dad had it. God bless man, it's terrible.

hey Scott, KittyKatt's recent loss was my mother. This happened a couple days before the Vegas show this year and we powered through that with mini breakdowns in our hotel room. There is so much I could say about this disease and all the emotions you will go through but it would be a long post. If you ever want someone to talk that has been down this road feel free to reach out anytime at all. add me on skype imortylpussycat. i'm so very sorry to hear this news about your mum.

For the cigarette smokers out there, in case you didn't know, there is a form of dementia caused by smoking. that is how my mom got it

Dementia and alzheimers attacks the short term memory portions of the brain first. The way the brain works is that if a memory remains in your short term memory portion for some period of time, it is then moved to the long term memory portion. Eventually the short term memory is completely unable to function and it starts eating at the long term memory. The last thing to go are the very primitive parts of the brain that control natural instincts.

My grandmother suffered from dementia. She passed a year ago (thankfully) but looking back over the past 10 years my parents and I can really see what we thought was her being eccentric and mean, was in reality dementia coming on. It was so gradual we didn't really notice (yea, she'd forget where she put stuff or a word here and there but nothing big) and then one day that changed.

I took the opportunity to fly home after the 2012 Miami show to see her (she had known I was coming before she really slid into the dementia). The first day she recognized me and it was clear she had been holding on until I showed up. However, she couldn't get any words out and you could just see in her eyes how frustrated it made her.

After that she just kind of slid away and was vacant with a few minutes clarity when I went to visit.

It's a horrible, horrible disease and I don't think anyone is really prepared for it. Seek out a support group because I also had to hear about the trials and tribulations from my mother who was the primary caregiver from 3,000 miles away. Nobody should have to do it alone.

Sorry to hear that. 58 is very young for such a serious disease. I lost my mom at 58 to COPD/emphysema and regardless of the health problems its tough to see someone that you love and was completely independent become so dependent and frail. Enjoy the time that you have with her. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Tattoos can be useful :2 cents: