FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once
 

...and other cool T-shirt sayings....Got any to add to the list?

1. "The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."
2. "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."
3. "I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!"
4. "Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them."
5. "I used to have a handle on life, but it broke."
6. "Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive."
7. "You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me."
8. "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."
9. "Earth ... is the insane asylum for the universe."
10. "To all you virgins, thanks for nothing."
11. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
12. "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
13. "I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather.... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
14. "God must love stupid people, he made so many of them."
15. "The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
16. "It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you."
17. "I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
18. "Consciousness: That annoying time between naps."
19. "Ever stop to think and forget to start again?"
20. "Beer - the reason I get up each afternoon!"
21. "I must be a proctologist because I work with butt heads!"
22. "That's it! I'm calling Nana!" (seen on an 8-year old).
23. "Wrinkled.... was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up."
24. "Procrastinate..... now."
25. "Rehab..... is for quitters."
26. "My dog....can lick anyone."
27. "I have a degree in liberal arts - Do you want fries with that?"
28. "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (On a baby-size shirt).
29. "Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I've been doing since I was 15."
30. "Arkansas: One million people and 15 last names."
31. "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software."
32. "I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN."
33. "A hangover is the wrath of grapes."
34. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance."
35. "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"
36. "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music."
37. "They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."
38. "He who dies with the most toys is none-the-less dead."
39. "Time is fun when you're having flies"...Kermit the Frog.
40. "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN....Cops have nothing to go on."
41. "FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once."
42. "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH."
43. "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig."
44. "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years."
45. "The trouble with life is there's no background music."
46. "The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson."
47. "MOP AND GLOW - The floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team."
48. "NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room spinning medicine."
49. "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't."

Some of those are pretty good. We need to to rewrite some for a GFY shirt.

13. "I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather.... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

my favorite

what about
"Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks your a.........c u n t"
and"667 neighbor of the beast" or "Im a paranoid schizophrenic. Nobody said I was but we knew they was thinking it"

funny list man

I like this one.

(insert arrow pointing at self here) Instant threesome. Add two people.

I call BS on your post topic!!

(see sig) ;)

The title of this thread reminded me (prepare for a total 90-degree turn) that studies have shown that the aversion to killing is so great that most soldiers get through battles either without discharging their rifle or without shooting to kill. Perhaps this (as well as the necessity to minimize US casualties) is why the US is using more and more robotic warfare.

"I plan to live forever. So far, so good."

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

These are good, where'd you get them?

I made 1 or 2 up, collected a few others, and the rest were sent to me in those "forwarded" joke emails.


Some actual shirts with some of these on them would be.... kewl.

I have some Italian grenades left over from WW II for sale too. The pins were pulled but they didn't go off.



Cheap cheap.

My roommate and I once had collected about 300 or so of these things, most of them were our own creations. I wish I still had the list. But here are a few:

"Math taught me that, like religion, if it looks good on paper, it must be right."

"History taught me that no matter how bad we look now, we will always look worse."

"Are asian men considered chinese food?"

"So are you saying that you're not going to blow me?"

"Satan's girlfriend."

"Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I forgot to look interested."

"Nosy lil fucker, aintcha?" (written in teeny type)

"Yes, they're real, no you can't touch them."

"Yes, I'm staring. No, it's not because you're hot."

"Yes I'm anal, thanks for noticing."

"Anal-retentive DOES have ahyphen."

"Hug Me. (I have gas.)"

"Sorority girls taste like chicken."

"1010011010" (666 for those who don't know binary)

"Bag me."

"110100100" (420 for those who don't know binary)

"Why do closed minded people have open mouths?"

"TMW"

"Expensive Attention Whore"


More if I think of them. It's spring break, I'm not required to think.