| mavruda |
10-10-2013 08:12 AM |
The Awesome Cow / Joke/
I've heard this couple of days ago. Sharing it now:
A lonesome farmer had a strange habit - to go and speak to his cow inside of the barn. And he had awesome cow - more than 4 gallons of milk each day! - Hey cow - you were awesome until now, and you're giving me a lot of milk, but I need sex. If you were woman I would make love to you, but you're cow. So I decided to go to the market and sell you for a single fuck.
The neighbour house was very close to the barn, and the woman there heard all the talk. Very excited, because she knew the cow was awesome she got back to her grown up daughter and told her about the cow. - My dear - I'm gonna let the neighbor fuck me once and I will get that cow! More than 4 gallons ofmilk every day! - That's awesome mom - the daughter said. The next day the mother went to the market and saw the neighbor. - How much is for the cow / she pretended she did not knew a thing about the price/.
- Nothing - I'm lonely and I would give the cow to those who will have sex with me. - Okay - I'm in - the woman said. Count me in - I will get that cow. - That's great - the farmer said - but there's one condition - you shall not fart during the sex!
Otherwise you won't get the cow ! - Not a problem the woman said. - Okay meet me on the crossroad - near to the big old tree.
They met there and the guy told her to bend over and to hug the big tree. BUT The farmer had big shlong. It was HUGE actually !
So when he started to fuck her - the woman could not hold the pressure and farted ! BANG!
- Oh neighbor - pull it out, pull it out - I farted ! - Yeah - I've heard - no cow for you sorry, let me finish though. The woman was depressed - and the farmer told her - you should not be worried - I will give you the milk. She went back at home and told her daughter - Honey -you're younger and stronger - you should get that cow for us - don't forget more than 4 gallons of milk EVERY DAY! And so - Both - mother and daughter went to the house of the farmer - it was afternoon.
- Good afternoon, ladies - you are here for the milk , right ? - No... - the mother said - we actually here to get the cow. I want you to Let my daughter to get it. - Sure - but the condition is the same. No farts! You will have to hold her hands, in case she decide to scratch my face ! - the woman agreed and the farmer pulled out his trunk.
The daughter could not handle it too and started to fart a lot, while the mother was holding her hands. - Sorry no cow. Both - mother and daughter went back at home -walking with legs crossed because they were fucked up - literally.
At home they started to cry. Shortly the husband came back and asked - what's going on here - why are you crying ?!? The mother told her husband what's going on - about the neighbor, the cow - 4 gallons of milk everyday etc...
-WE CANNOT miss that cow !!!! - Jesus woman !!! What do you want me to do? - the father said. - You should try to get that cow from the neighbor! It won't be a problem - you have just one hole - so there will be no way for farts... - In the mean time the mother sent the daughter to observe what will going to happen and to get back and tell her if the man was able to get that cow.
It was evening time when the husband knocked on the door of the farmer. - Evening ! I'm here for the cow!- - Okay - lets do it on the outside - bend over on the meadow - I can't let you inside of the house - inside I sleep - I don't fuck. The condition is when I start fucking you - you should remain silent!
Otherwise no cow! - so the poor guy bent over and the farmer pulled out his THANG. Oh The horror! The pain. The husband was so in pain he googled his eyes, and started to tear off the grass with his bare hands - that because of the pain - but he remained silent - that cow was important - remember ?! 4 gallons of milk every day! The daughter saw everything and very fast ran back home.
- Mom ! Dad got the cow ! - Wow - finally ! How so ? How can you be so sure ?! - I'm sure, because I saw dad started to tear and gather grass for the cow already!
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