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-   -   A little Friday Jewish humor....The 10 Commandments (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=110231)

JeremySF 02-21-2003 05:19 PM

A little Friday Jewish humor....The 10 Commandments
 
God is Offering Commandments

God came down and first he went to the Germans and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."

And the Germans asked, "what are Commandments?"

And the Lord said, "Rules for living."

"Can you give us an example?"

"Thou shalt not kill."

"Not kill? We're not interested."

So He went to the Italians and said, "I have Commandments." And the Italians wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not steal."

"Not steal? We're not interested."

He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."

The French wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife."

"Not covet my neighbor's wife? We're not interested."

He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."

"Commandments? How much are they?"

"They're free."

"Good then, we'll take 10!"

Jay_StandAhead 02-21-2003 05:21 PM

hehe kinda funny :)

EscortBiz 02-21-2003 05:24 PM

funny but true

here is another one

why do jews have big noses?

because the air is free

KrazieSweets 02-21-2003 05:28 PM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

rooster 02-21-2003 05:33 PM

what is a jews biggest dilema......... free ham

JeremySF 02-21-2003 05:41 PM

Not a dilemma for me...I luv ham...Jewish crack...

just don't tell my rabbi. :drinkup

Quote:

Originally posted by rooster
what is a jews biggest dilema......... free ham

psyko514 02-21-2003 05:49 PM

a jew with a boner walks into a wall. what hits first?

JeremySF 02-21-2003 05:52 PM

Here's a good one....

So For Ninety Cents, You're Going to Make Trouble?

A Jewish girl came home one day and said, "Ma, I got married." Her mother said, "Oy, that's great."

The girl said, "But Ma, he's an Arab." Her mother said, "Oy, that's not so great."

The girl said, "But Ma, he's an Arab sheik. He's wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of your lives."

Six months later, the Jewish girl walked into the house and said, "Ma, I love my Arab sheik, but my God, all he wants to do is screw me in my ass. Day and night, all he'll do is bang me in the ass. When I got married, my asshole was like a dime. Now it's like a silver dollar."

Her mother said, "So for ninety cents, you're going to make trouble?"

XXXManager 02-21-2003 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by EscortBiz
funny but true
here is another one
why do jews have big noses?
because the air is free

I would have called you are fucken stupid racist. But I don't know you good enough to fully judge you so I'll refrain from doing that.

EscortBiz 02-21-2003 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by XXXManager

I would have called you are fucken stupid racist. But I don't know you good enough to fully judge you so I'll refrain from doing that.

yeah you sure don't know me good enough byt eh way Mah Nishmah?

chodadog 02-21-2003 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by XXXManager

I would have called you are fucken stupid racist. But I don't know you good enough to fully judge you so I'll refrain from doing that.

Boo hoo. Are you saying you never laugh at a good ****** joke? Hell, i have black friends that tell me ****** jokes. Jew jokes are just as funny. Hell, whitey jokes are funny. Stop whining.

JeremySF 02-21-2003 06:36 PM

I think 3X thought the joke was racist b/c incredibly unoriginal....that's like the oldest/stupidest joke......I haven't heard it since I was 6. :ak47:

Quote:

Originally posted by chodadog


Boo hoo. Are you saying you never laugh at a good ****** joke? Hell, i have black friends that tell me ****** jokes. Jew jokes are just as funny. Hell, whitey jokes are funny. Stop whining.


quiet 02-21-2003 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by XXXManager

I would have called you are fucken stupid racist. But I don't know you good enough to fully judge you so I'll refrain from doing that.

hehe


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