Serious thread: please post your best fart story
 

Please no trolling or nonsense.

I once farted in an elevator full of people. It was a sneaky fart so no one heard it. its stunk like fuck all. everyone was looking around at each other suspecting. It was funny i had hard time not cracking smile but it was worst smelling fart ever.

About 2 hours ago, I farted in a glass on the coffee table that had the remnants of old milk in it from yesterday. I covered the glass with my hand and found my wife making dinner in the kitchen. I put the glass near her face and said "hey, smell this glass. There's something weird going on here."

She threw a handful of uncooked tortellini at me after she got a whiff of that.

My Lab ate the tortellini off the floor and threw it up about 15 minutes later.

Haha gross

Years ago I took a few horseback riding lessons. The horses would occasionally pass gas and it sounded a certain way. Around that same time I was sitting in class at high school and this fat girl farted. It sounded exactly like the horses.

Last year I ate a leftover burrito and went to a party!

I needed to rip one and I was next to the DJ booth. Thought is was going to go un noticed, not...

I cleared that whole area with exception for the DJ cuz he has to keep mixin.

i once forted but really i shorted. i had to go around all day with a little poo in my pants. since i am not currently sobber this was not pleansent.

getting weird lol

A few years back Barbie from barely18barbie.com lived with me for a couple of months. One night we went out drinking and stopped to get some Mexican food. The next day, as she was sitting on the floor hungover and using her laptop, she thought she had to fart but ended up shitting her pants. Hilarious.

:1orglaugh

whats weird fag boy, why do you keep messing with me and Franck :1orglaugh

Lol Just 20mins before i was thinking about "FART CLUB". It would be great attraction and also nice smelly place for all people that like farting. Some rooms would be only for HARD AND LOUD FARTS, and other rooms for variations. Also tourist could buy daily ticket to check all that and fart to shit inside :) Also there would be monthly list of best farts made by club members.

FARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT CREW

Back a few years ago my friend worked in Chicago and lived about a 20 min train ride in the burbs to the West. As he was leaving work one day on his way to Union Station and about 1/2 way there, he had the stomach/intestinal rumbles. He thought it was just gas, but when he tried to let it eek out, it was more than just air. Figuring he could just use the Station bathrooms, he kept walking. Once there he came to find the bathrooms were closed for repairs. "No Problem" he thought, I'll just use the one on the train. That day they happened to be using a short run train with no bathrooms. By now he was in excruciating pain. Barely making it off the train at his stop he remembered it was a small train station with no bathrooms, so cheeks pinched, he ran to his car, hopped in and tore out of the parking lot thinking he could make it the 5 minutes home. He got lucky, all the lights he hit were green and he screamed into his driveway, threw it in park, and proceeded to completely shit his pants before he could get out!!!! :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

You cannot have the word fart and serious in the same sentence. It's just wrong.

This one time me and my brother and some friends were at a pizza place eating when he had to fart. He didn't say anything, just stood up and in a hurrying fashion walked to the bathroom. About 10 minutes had passed when he came back out and told everyone we had to go right now.

Later found out that he went to push out a fart and shit himself.. Not only shit, but pissed out of his ass. He had left a puddle of liquid shit on the seat he was in, and had went to the bathroom to clean his pants as best as he good before we left. He ended up leaving his shit covered boxer briefs in the bathroom garbage can.

fartnutters