Jesus christ walking. I got to a point where I didn't want to drink any more. Then I let two women drive me to it. Not day to day- but the two times I did, both times I hung myself with the law (and I am pretty sure that I MEANT TO--- what the fuck is THAT about?!)
Anyway- the past few months I was with this woman, things going great, she knew about my past alcohol issues. So of all things suddenly I find out she has a huge past with drinking and drugs and she decides to let the floodgates of hell out.
By then I care for her (not in love- but I care very much for her and her boy)
So I think well I have had second chances. I try to stick it out, stand by the crazy evil cunt. I even took care of her son and protected him and babysat her bender having ass. Several times I thought I had reached her.
Well long story bla bla bla she's deep in the denial stage and PROJECTING (which is the most god damned frustrating thing EVER INVENTED- imagine someone doing god awful shit and ALWAYS not only being remorseless, but then turning around accusing you of what THEY do!)
Now here is the question--- her drinking in my face weeks at a time, I see how horrible the effects are-- I am pouring her bottles out, taking her keys, I see the look in the boys eyes when he is terrified of her .... etc etc etc .. fucking nightmare from hell
WHY THE FUCK DID I END UP DRINKING THAT DAY AFTER ALL OF THAT AND SEEMINGLY PURPOSELY GETTING MYSELF ARRESTED WHEN I HAD AN EARLY FLIGHT OUT THE VERY NEXT DAY?!!!
WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME TO DO THAT??
That is all. That is my question.
I can't believe it was even me.
How stupid was that?!
Anyway- the past few months I was with this woman, things going great, she knew about my past alcohol issues. So of all things suddenly I find out she has a huge past with drinking and drugs and she decides to let the floodgates of hell out.
By then I care for her (not in love- but I care very much for her and her boy)
So I think well I have had second chances. I try to stick it out, stand by the crazy evil cunt. I even took care of her son and protected him and babysat her bender having ass. Several times I thought I had reached her.
Well long story bla bla bla she's deep in the denial stage and PROJECTING (which is the most god damned frustrating thing EVER INVENTED- imagine someone doing god awful shit and ALWAYS not only being remorseless, but then turning around accusing you of what THEY do!)
Now here is the question--- her drinking in my face weeks at a time, I see how horrible the effects are-- I am pouring her bottles out, taking her keys, I see the look in the boys eyes when he is terrified of her .... etc etc etc .. fucking nightmare from hell
WHY THE FUCK DID I END UP DRINKING THAT DAY AFTER ALL OF THAT AND SEEMINGLY PURPOSELY GETTING MYSELF ARRESTED WHEN I HAD AN EARLY FLIGHT OUT THE VERY NEXT DAY?!!!
WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME TO DO THAT??
That is all. That is my question.
I can't believe it was even me.
How stupid was that?!
ill drink a few watching egg ball.
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