New Homeland Security Alert
 

(Washington DC) Popular PBS Television personality RED GREEN has been appointed the new under secretary for Homeland Security.

Citizens are strongly urged to stock up on the following items:

DUCT TAPE & LOTS OF PLASTIC TO SEAL WINDOWS

Every American now must ask themself... It's Eleven o'clock, do you know where your duct tape is.

Forget food, water, and condoms. Duct tape. The only item needed to survive the apocalypse.

Shit! Someone needs a duct tape affiliate program...

Ya know whats funny I think DuctTape.com was an available domain recently.

if i had known.... i would have grabbed it up in a heartbeat

Idiots and their DUCT TAPE!!!!